A Day Out Of The Office
by whingymcgregor
Summary: Torchwood are still reeling from the events of Exit Wounds, so what will happen when Martha Jones calls to say the Doctor's got himself in a bit of a pickle. Again. Post Exit Wounds. Mostly a Jack/Ianto adventure NOW COMPLETE :D
1. Chapter 1

Hey this is my first story and this chapter is very short and possibly very rubbish cos I really don't know if I even like Martha but Torchwood will be in it soon and all will be good.

I own nothing (wishing doesn't count) all Torchwood and Who belongs to RTD and the BBC

Set after EXIT WOUNDS and is totally AU for the end of Dr Who season 4.

Read the next chapter it has Ianto goodness

* * *

Martha Jones was staring at her phone. More specifically Martha Jones was staring at her contacts trying to decide who to call. _Who the hell was going to sort out this bloody mess?_

The Doctor had somehow, in her absence, managed to get himself trapped on some alien planet with a name that she couldn't even attempt to pronounce. Then the TARDIS had malfunctioned and the only method of contact with him had been Donna Noble's mobile, which she had forgotten on board and which had, as of half an hour ago, run out of battery.

And as if things couldn't get any worse Donna had turned up on her doorstep at 3AM not alone but with the Doctor's absent but never forgotten assistant Rose _bloody_ Tyler and Rose _bloody_ Tyler's boyfriend, Rose _bloody_ Tyler's mother and Rose _bloody_ Tyler's father. She was starting to feel like she was living a supernatural episode of Eastenders, it was not in the least bit amusing.

The tension that was very evident in the room was doing nothing for her nerves. That combined with the effect of both Donna's foghorn and Jackie Tyler's screech was making it very hard to concentrate on the task at hand. She gave her phone all the attention of a nuclear warhead to avoid Rose's speculative gaze.

_Billy_ nope an optician from Slough, not much use in a paranormal crisis,

_Brandon another _no. Currently taking his A levels in Manchester

_Clare _working in a McDonalds in Hull

_Clarence _Ha! If he saw an alien he'd more than likely shit himself and run for his mother

_Cpt. Lovelength_

_Danielle _working for BT in a very comfortable office…..

_**Cpt. Lovelength?**_

**_Idiot more like it._**

Martha's face broke into a truly beatific smile. Turning to the gaggle of anxious people gathered in her mother's front room, she grinned

"Ladies and Gentlemen I may just have the answer to our prayers."

* * *

Please review I'm a bit shakey at this melarkey! Cheersies! :D


	2. Chapter 2

Fandom: Torchwood/Dr. Who

Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto also starring Gwen, Rhys, Martha, Donna, Rose, Mickey, Jackie, Pete, Martha's family and mentions of the Doctor.

Disclaimer:I don't own Torchwood or Who all belongs to RTD and the BBC

Warnings: Spoilers for all Torchwood and Who so far S1&2 Torchwood and s1-4 Who

Author's Note: Sorry if the characters are off. If they are please tell me and I'll fix them. Especially if Ianto and Jack start to get pathetic. I hate when Ianto gets written like a pathetic whinge. DANKE!

* * *

Ianto Jones was enjoying himself very much.

He was currently sitting above Jack's subterranean room, his bare legs dangling through the hole, a mug of warm coffee in his hands and a slight smile playing across his lips. He was watching Jack sleep.

No matter how much bullshit Jack had fed Gwen about not being able to sleep Ianto was witness to the fact that Jack could and did sleep. He could snore in his sleep too. Ianto grinned into his mug as a sound reminiscent of a departing train rumbled from below him.

Ianto relished the opportunity of being up before his Captain, Jack was peaceful when he slept, quiet, still. Everything that was not Captain Jack Harkness.

Captain Jack Harkness was loud and brash and just so very _American_.

Ianto grinned again as Jack shifted in his sleep and was silent for a second before the snoring started again, a deep throaty drone that wafted through the stillness of the hub mixing with the noise of the rift monitors and the incessant bleeping coming from Jack's computer.

Ianto frowned. The incessant bleeping coming from Jack's computer. That wasn't normal. He stood and walked over to Jack's desk threading carefully to avoid waking his sleeping lover.

Sliding into the chair with practised ease Ianto clicked on the flashing icon indicating a new email and glanced at the sender. UNIT. _Shite._

Ianto groaned in a highly overdramatic fashion that he was sure he must have picked up from Jack and leaned back in the chair closing his eyes in annoyance. If there was one more alien invasion this weekend he was in danger of either running out of body bags or running out of cover stories.

There was only so many Sci-Fi conventions in Cardiff in any one year.

"Ianto!?"

A rather shocked and high pitched voice drew him out of his contemplation and he looked back at the screen with wide eyes. To find an amused Martha Jones staring back at him.

"Dr Jones." He greeted politely. "Are you well?"

She opened her mouth to answer but didn't get the chance when a very loud, scandalised voice interrupted her and she was shoved slightly out of screen as a red head pushed by.

"He's in the nip! I cannot believe the cheek on you missy! The Doctor's in trouble and you're standin' around havin' sordid little meetin's with naked men on the internet! Who the Hell are you then sunshine?!"

Ianto didn't answer, he had belatedly realise that he was indeed naked except from a pair of boxers and having decided this was insufficient clothing to be wearing whilst having a video conference with a UNIT representative had taken Donna's interruption as a chance to grab his shirt and tie from their respective resting places around the office.

He slid back into Jack's chair looking like his usual polished self just as Martha regained control of her web cam.

"Not interrupting anything am I?" Martha enquired with a mischievous look.

"Not at all" Ianto replied blandly, straightening his already straight tie and tweaking his eyebrow at her.

"We could always use a third"

They both jumped at the voice.

"Jack" Ianto said a hint of reproach in his voice "I am in the middle of a very serious conference call with UNIT"

"In your boxers?" Jack was leering ever so obviously.

"Quite. So if you don't mind.."

Jack strode deliberately across the office coming up behind Ianto and resting his head on Ianto's shoulder.

"Martha Jones!" Jack exclaimed delightedly when he saw who was onscreen.

"Nice to see you too Jack, and theres plenty of you to see anyway."

Jack was not as conscious of his lack of clothes as Ianto had been and grinned at Martha in the patented Harkness manner.

"Like what you see?"

"Jack!" Both Martha and Ianto sounded equally exasperated.

"Fine, fine. This century is so frigid." Jack muttered as Ianto vacated his chair and moved to find his trousers.

"So Martha Jones, what can your friendly local Torchwood representative do for you today?"

"Jack, its about the Doctor." Martha's voice was solemn. "He's got himself into a spot of bother. Again."

Jack's eyebrows rose dramatically as he looked at Ianto who was standing by the door looking as neat as he had 16 hours before when he'd arrived at the hub.

Ianto rolled his eyes.

"I'll get the coffee"

"Something tells me we're going to need it." He added in an undertone as he left the office.

* * *

Please let me know what you think!

Danke :D


	3. Chapter 3

Fandom: Torchwood/Dr. Who

Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto also starring Gwen, Rhys, Martha, Donna, Rose, Mickey, Jackie, Pete, Martha's family and mentions of the Doctor.

Disclaimer:I don't own Torchwood or Who all belongs to RTD and the BBC

Warnings: Spoilers for all Torchwood and Who so far S1&2 Torchwood and s1-4 Who

Mentionings of porn but no actual porn, some boy kissin', a very naked Cpt. Jack Harkness and Yodelling.

Author's Note: Sorry if the characters are off. If they are please tell me and I'll fix them. Especially if Ianto and Jack start to get pathetic. I hate when Ianto gets written like a pathetic whinge.

This chapter is mostly Jack Ianto banter but I could seriously write it all day. There will be plot movement in the next chapter. Maybe. No There WILL !!(gives self dirty look)

* * *

Ianto was standing in the middle of the Hub with his hands on his hips in a characteristic display of annoyance. He actually seemed to be getting quite flustered and his predicament was not helped by the presence of a very naked Captain Jack Harkness looming over him from just outside his office.

"Come on Ianto, it'll be a nice day out of the office."

"No way Jack" Ianto shook his head vehemently "There is no way you are dragging me all the way to London, at this short notice."

"Ian.."

" We don't have the manpower anymore Jack." Ianto hissed, his voice sharp in the relative quiet of the Hub. He flinched slightly as he realised what he'd just said and the smile had slid off Jacks face.

"We can't leave Gwen here alone whilst we go off gallivanting to London to find the Doctor."

"Ianto it's just for the day and the rift has been quiet since.."

_**Since Tosh and Owen died. Since Grey. Since Cardiff was destroyed. Since Torchwood was devastated. **_

The words hung in the silence between them.

Jack took a deep breath.

"Ianto look." Jack looked earnestly down at his young lover.

"I need you there. I don't exactly know what's going on but from what Martha's told me we may not even have the equipment we need in our archives. Who better to know what we do and do not have than our resident archivist?"

The charming smile was back.

It didn't work.

Ianto glared back up at him.

"Are you absolutely positive that this is a real genuine mission and not just a way for you to whisk me off to London for a dirty weekend?"

"Ianto Jones! I am shocked and appalled! Would I ever?"

That elicited a small smile from Ianto. But he could not be swayed.

"Jack, in all seriousness Gwen will not be able to keep this place running on her own."

"Ianto it's just for ONE DAY" Jack was becoming exasperated.

"Jack, this is the Doctor we're talking about! If the archives have told me anything its that where the Doctor's involved it_ always _takes substantially more than one day."

There was a lengthy silence as Jack considered this and decided that Ianto was probably right.

"Unless.." Ianto smiled at Jack with just enough of an impish glint in his eyes to make Jack wary.

"Unless what?" Jack replied cautiously.

"Rhys"

"No bloody way! Not a chance in hell. Ianto, there is no way I am letting that man into MY Hub to wreak havoc! He'll be wandering around dropping rubbish everywhere and messing with the computers downloading video games or porn or I don't know..yodelling competitions"

Ianto's eyebrows raised "Yodelling?"

"Yeah yodelling and he'll get Myfanway overexcited and she'll destroy the place. Or worst of all he'll run around blabbing to all and sundry! We'll arrive back and he'll be sitting there with Dav and Banana Head or whatever he's called watching yodelling competitions!"

"Are you quite finished?" Ianto asked with an air of long suffering patience.

Jack nodded slightly exhausted by his outburst.

"Well then" Ianto began as he walked up the steps towards Jack, "Even if he does all those things I'll have less to do than if you were here on your own. Don't look at me like that Jack, the only reason you have the majority of those examples is because you're the one who downloads computer games and drops rubbish everywhere. What are you worried about anyway it's not you who'll be tidying up?"

"Well" Jack had the grace to look slightly abashed. "There's still the issue of exposure"

"Not like you to worry about exposure." Ianto smirked. "But if you're that worried about it put some pants on."

"That's not what I mean Ianto and you know it" Jack growled slightly as he leant towards Ianto who had perched on the side of Owen's old desk.

"Jack you swan around the city in an RAF coat circa 1940 in a huge SUV with Torchwood on it in bright yellow letters. All our equipment has Torchwood on it. You bound around crime scenes with your big fog horn voice, which I love so don't look so put upon, proclaiming that Torchwood are here to save the day."

Ianto gave a small laugh "There is not one person in this city that has not heard of Torchwood in some way, shape or form. Owen uses it.." Ianto glanced down and swallowed thickly.

"Owen even _used _it to pick up girls. So don't start talking to me about exposure Jack. All I'm saying is we're lucky that Retcon wasn't turning people psychotic or Cardiff would be the welsh equivalent of Battle Royale."

Jack gave a bark of laughter and smiled at Ianto fondly.

"So if I let Rhys stay with Gwen will you come to London." Leaning in towards Ianto in a very deliberate way.

"Yeah, as long as she's OK with mucking out after the weevils." Ianto replied trying to maintain his professional veneer despite his boss being very naked and very close.

"Ianto no one in their right mind is ever OK with mucking out after weevils." Jack muttered his lips centimetres from Ianto's.

Ianto knew that he should have been saying something.

Jack speaks, Ianto snarks back. That's the rules.

Only problem was his brain seemed to have completely flown off to visit Myfanway so he was left standing against Owen's desk with a very naked, very warm Jack whose lips were just _there._

And despite common speculation Ianto was just a man. So with his brain having taken leave he did the only thing he could think of.

He smiled at Jack and said; "Would you like a coffee sir?"

Jacks face fell immediately and he drew back pouting.

Ianto grinned at him and lunged forward locking his mouth in a passionate kiss. Jack broke off slightly and murmured "You're an evil man Ianto Jones."

"I do what I can, Captain." Ianto smiled back at him and they stood that way for a while. Bodies pressed close together, foreheads touching, arms wrapped around each other. Just holding on and swaying slightly to silent music.

"I'm glad you're coming" Jack whispered his breath hot as it ghosted over Ianto's cheek. "Don't know if I could handle those diplomats by myself."

"Scared Captain?" Ianto asked voice quiet and serious.

"Terrified." Jack admitted his mouth curling slightly at the edges as he ran his hands over Ianto's suit jacket to rest none to subtly on his ass.

"You'll always be there to save me from those big scary bureaucrats and their red tape wont you Ianto?"

Ianto's eyebrow cocked slightly at the new position Jack's hands had found but made no attempt to move them.

"Of course Jack. I solemnly swear that whilst I am here Captain Jack Harkness shall never have to restrain or limit himself due to anything so frivolous as laws or basic public decency."

Jack obviously liked this answer as he leaned in and captured Ianto's mouth in another kiss that in all eventualities was going to lead to Ianto being in a similar state of undress to Jack back downstairs, or in Jack's office or just here.

Unfortunately it was not to be for at that moment the door alarm went off and Ianto practically shoved Jack in the direction hissing at him to "Put on some bloody clothes!"

Jack's smirking face had just vanished down the manhole when Gwen walked in smiling at Ianto and offering him a "Good Morning Ianto."

Ianto straightened his already straight tie and cleared his throat slightly before answering. "Good morning Gwen, would you like some coffee."

And with that he moved off towards the coffee machine mentally deciding that Jack could tell Gwen about the plan while he went home to shower and change and get his bag for London.

He smirked to himself at that thought. Gwen would not be a happy camper staying here on her own. Maybe even less happy with Rhys here. But Jack could tell her and listen to her yelling at him. Ianto had never understood the woman's need to bellow to get her point across. He almost felt a twinge of sympathy for the Captain but if Jack was making him deal with childish, squabbling politicians then this was the least he deserved.

Handing Gwen her coffee with a smile Ianto glanced up to see Jack emerge from his office, thankfully in clothes. "Jack I'm heading home to get ready. You can fill Gwen in when I'm gone." And with that Ianto spun on his heel and walked briskly from the Hub.

Let the bellowing begin.

* * *

Poor Ianto little does he know there is much much more bellowing to come.

thanks to the guys who've reviewed, I'm counting on your keeping me on track.

The next chapter might take a while but I couldn't resist putting this one up!

Please review and give me all the criticism I need! Danke :D


	4. Chapter 4

Fandom: Torchwood/Dr. Who

Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto also starring Gwen, Rhys, Martha, Donna, Rose, Mickey, Jackie, Pete, Martha's family and mentions of the Doctor.

Disclaimer:I don't own Torchwood or Who all belongs to RTD and the BBC

Warnings: Spoilers for all Torchwood and Who so far S1&2 Torchwood and s1-4 Who

Some boy kissin', a very naked Cpt. Jack Harkness(AGAIN he wont keep them on!) and one swear word.

Author's Note: Sorry if the characters are off. If they are please tell me and I'll fix them. Especially if Ianto and Jack start to get pathetic. I hate when Ianto gets written like a pathetic whinge.

I know I promised plot but this was quick-you can't have it both was peoples!! I was a bit nervous about angsty Ianto I really didn't want him to turn into emo Ianto. But I think it's OK.

* * *

Jack Harkness was brooding.

Well in all honesty Jack Harkness was sulking but as Jack Harkness was much too dashing and heroic to sulk he preferred the term brooding.

Ianto Jones was not so sensitive to his boss's heroic nature and so when Jack got into the passenger seat of the SUV beside him the first words out of his mouth were;

"Why are you sulking?"

Jack's response was a series of mumbles the only coherent words of which were;

"Gwen…Bloody Torchwood…" and "Spatula."

Ianto raised his eyebrows slightly at the last one but said nothing and decided that he probably didn't want to know what exactly Gwen had planned for that spatula.

Leaving Jack to his dark mutterings he turned his attention to getting them out of Roald Dahl Plass; why Jack insisted on being picked up at the perception filter despite the Plass being pedestrian access only, Ianto would never know.

It didn't take long for Jack to come out of his foul mood and within half an hour he was regaling Ianto with Andrew Lloyd Webber's greatest hits. Not that Ianto minded in the least. Jack had a great voice; rich and strong, not that anyone else heard it much. He sang only when he thought he was alone or more recently when he was alone with Ianto.

--

The first time Ianto had heard him sing had been before Lisa had tried to destroy the world, before he had almost destroyed the world, before Jack had saved him from himself and from his past.

He had been in the archives late one evening finishing reorganising L-N after the mess his predecessor (he suspected it was Jack) had left it in, when he had heard that rich voice wafting from the communal showers that were used mostly when the team had been contaminated with some form of radioactive gloop.

He had proceed to the shower room cursing Owen under his breath for obviously leaving the radio on in the shower room despite Ianto leaving numerous post-its on his desk reminding him that water actually conducted electricity and that any electrical equipment in contact with water could lead to the Hub's power short circuiting and triggering an automatic lockdown.

Ianto sighed through his annoyance; he really thought that child's 'Electricity & Me-Sparky's Dos & Donts' pamphlet had done the job.

So expecting a non-descript plastic radio he was extremely surprised when he rounded the corner to find a very naked, very wet Captain Jack Harkness in all his glory singing his heart out.

Of course the polite thing to do at this point would have been to back slowly out of the room, the Hub, the Tourist office, into his car, back to his flat where he could _get it out of his system_. Alone.

But for some reason Ianto had stood there like an idiot gaping at his boss with thoughts that had absolutely nothing to do with alien artefacts or correct filing procedures running through his head and the file he was carrying placed strategically over the front of his trousers.

Jack had just opened one eye and grinned in that lecherous manner he had.

"Wanna get my back for me?"

That had been the first time Ianto had betrayed Lisa. It hadn't been the last but as firsts went it was pretty damn good.

--

Jack glanced across at Ianto anxiously. They were about half an hour away from London at with each passing mile Ianto's grip on the steering wheel got a bit more intense. At this point he was sitting so rigidly that Jack knew that if the SUV were to crash he'd break ever bone in his body. That was not an encouraging thought.

The silence between them had gotten more and more tense since Jack had grown tired of singing and spent 20 minutes flicking through radio stations before Ianto had very pointedly reached down and snapped the radio off with a flick of his wrist.

Jack was getting nervous. Jack did not like silence, even when he was alone in the Hub he'd invariably have some Glenn Miller on as background noise. And tense silences were his least favourite silences. Generally he tried to break them with an innuendo laden joke. It was worth a try;

"So this hotel.."

"Don't" Ianto shut him down sharply.

"Don't what" He asked innocently glancing over and seeing Ianto's body language if anything was more rigid than it had been 45 seconds ago when he'd last checked.

"Don't try and break the obviously awkward silence with some smutty innuendo." He gave a half smile at Jack's slack jawed surprise. "It's what you do Jack. Don't worry I'm not at all upset with you. Innuendo is not needed at this juncture. Save it for quipping smartly at your nemeses."

"Ianto, darling, I will never run out of quips." Jack stated in an overly dignified voice tossing his head in a dramatic manner and grinning over at his lover, then frowning when Ianto's expression didn't change.

"Right that's it tell me what's.."

"London." Ianto said shortly his gaze intent upon the road.

"Yes Ianto we _are _going to London." Jack threw Ianto a confused look "Are you just realising this now or…"

"Jesus Jack" Ianto sounded infinitely exasperated "You can be incredibly thick when you want to be." He was swallowing nervously and Jack watched the rapid bob of his Adam's apple intently.

"This is – well" Ianto took a deep breath and Jack could see he was very close to panicking.

This was very unlike Ianto Jones. Ianto Jones was calm and collected and oh so very smooth but over and above everything else Ianto Jones was eloquent. Ianto Jones was master wordsmith with a quicksilver mind who could manipulate words with an elegance that left Jack breathless.

Not that Ianto was a loud mouth or said much at all but when he did he could arm himself with just a few select words to make Tosh rest and eat in the middle of her latest 'project', to cut Owen down before he said something so hurtful there was no going back. Ianto's words could drag Jack back from a precipice of despair or ignite a passion in him he had thought long dead.

Ianto's words could smooth ruffled feathers, garner the favour of notoriously difficult authority figures, could even on occasion halt the almighty stubbornness of Gwen 'Pit bull' Cooper.

Ianto's wry observations and sarcastic humour had saved them from the darkness their job inevitably brought upon them and grounded them when emotions were running high.

If Jack was certain of one thing in his immortal life it was that if the world all suddenly turned to shit, Ianto Jones would be there and summarise the situation with a single sentence, a wry smirk and an air of long suffering patience for the ineptitude of mere mortals who couldn't understand the complex art of making mind-bending coffee.

This was why at this moment an incoherent, stuttering Ianto Jones was enough to set alarm bells going in Jack's head.

"Ianto.."

"Canary Wharf" The words were rushed before they could be retracted.

Realisation dawned. Jacks sighed slightly "Ah.." He placed his hand very gently on Ianto's thigh. Ianto's eyes were glued to the road and he was focussing on it so intently that Jack was quite sure he wasn't seeing the motorway in front of him at all.

"Ianto pull the car over."

"Jack I'm Fine." Ianto spit out testily.

"Pull. The. Damn. Car. Over."

"Fine!" And with an uncharacteristic display of temper Ianto wrenched the wheel and brought the car sharply off the road and into the hard shoulder in a manoeuvre that left the cars behind them honking their annoyance.

They both sat in stunned for a moment the only sound in the SUV was the harsh sound of their breath.

"Ianto.." Jack began cautiously.

"I'm sorry Sir." Ianto cut across him his hands still glued to the steering wheel, staring out the windshield his face a carefully crafted blank mask that Jack was all too familiar with. "That was unprofessional."

Jack frowned in annoyance. He reached over and very carefully placed one hand over Ianto's tightly coiled fingers. With the other he reached up and turned the other man's face towards him. Carefully directing Ianto's face until they were facing each other, Ianto's eyes were downcast, a slight crease between his brows.

Jack released a soft breath. "Ianto."

Ianto glanced up at him and Jack gave a wan smile.

"No one expects you to return to London after 2 years completely over what happened. Especially not me." He added when Ianto's frown deepened.

Ianto opened his mouth to argue but Jack placed a delicate finger on his lips.

"No arguments Mr Jones. You are to take all the time you need to process where you are going and what is about to happen. Because I know for a FACT" he continued stubbornly when he saw Ianto intended to interrupt again.

"I know for a fact that you did not take full advantage of the counselling offered by UNIT and I also know for a fact that if you insist on bottling up all that emotion and terror it'll backfire on you in a big way."

Ianto nodded a little miserably but didn't break eye contact which Jack took as a positive sign so he forged on.

"You are one of the strongest men I know Ianto- I mean how many people could deal with aliens? How many people could catch aliens whilst looking amazing in a suit? Not many. Why do you think I encourage casual dress in Cardiff? And to survive the Cybermen AND the Daleks and then carry on in the alien-catching business after all that. You Ianto Jones are a marvel."

A tiny smile tweaked Ianto's lips.

"If at any time you are in any way overwhelmed or nervous or terrified or just plain furious you are to come and tell me. Do I make myself abundently clear? I can make that an order!" He added when Ianto hesitated and he was rewarded by an almost imperceptable nod.

"So we are agreed that if Mr Ianto Jones is in need of any TLC of either a physical or emotional nature he will seek out Captain Jack Harkness at once for immediate attention? I'm telling you Ianto you haven't had TLC til you've had the unique Harkness blend of TLC."

"As long as its absolutely nothing like your unique Harkness coffee blend I reckon I'll be just fine." Ianto agreed with a smirk and Jack was relieved to see the frightening deadness leave his eye.

"Cheeky bastard" Jack growled at him and leaned in to plant a comforting peck on his lips.

He was therefore surprised when Ianto grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him into a desperate, needy kiss.

"Thank you Jack" Ianto whispered as they broke apart his eyes quiet and serious and shining with gratitude.

"Anytime" Jack replied quietly and he leaned back in his seat as Ianto straightened his tie and started the SUV once more.

"Anytime" He repeated to himself as he watched Ianto pull the car back onto the motorway his shoulders more relaxed and his grip on the steering wheel easy and casual. "Anytime at all."

* * *

Please review they really make me more happy than they should.

Thanks a million to everyone who has reviewed so far. It makes me really want to write more.

Again criticism is more than welcome!

Cheersies! :D


	5. Chapter 5

Fandom: Torchwood/Dr. Who

Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto also starring Gwen, Rhys, Martha, Donna, Rose, Mickey, Jackie, Pete, Martha's family and mentions of the Doctor.

Disclaimer:I don't own Torchwood or Who all belongs to RTD and the BBC

Warnings: Spoilers for all Torchwood and Who so far S1&2 Torchwood and s1-4 Who

Some boy kissin', some Donna shoutin' and some suit envy.

Author's Note: Sorry if the characters are off. If they are please tell me and I'll fix them. Especially if Ianto and Jack start to get pathetic. I hate when Ianto gets written like a pathetic whinge.

* * *

Captain Jack Harkness was feeling a little overwhelmed.

The feeling itself was one he'd never really experienced but he'd read about it in books and he was pretty sure that's what he was feeling- overwhelmed.

He was currently standing in the Jones' living room after being reunited with Rose, whom he'd thought lost in a parallel world, had a brief reunion with the End Of the World Survivors Club and been introduced to two of the loudest women he'd ever met in over a century of life. And he knew Gwen!

But what was currently making him so flustered was that the two shrill women had proceed to flirt with him in a most outrageous fashion, not that he was opposed to that in principle most days he'd relish the practise. But when your young lover, who is outside in the relative safety of the SUV, keeps making snide remarks over your ear piece and sniggering at your predicament it kind of takes the fun out of it.

He was therefore relieved when Ianto managed to tear himself away from enjoying his boss' misfortune to locate a local pub which a large enough to house the congregation currently taking up residence in Mrs Jones' front room.

"Announcement!" Jack barked above the chattering of the gathered masses. "If all parties involved in the retrieval of the Doctor would kindly make their way outside I believe I may have found an alternative venue with a bit more space."

He smiled apologetically at Francene who just gave him a look of tired gratitude and mouthed a silent "Thank You".

Frankly Jack couldn't blame her; the combined personalities of Donna Noble and Jackie Tyler would dwarf any room, Jack just fervently hoped that the pub Ianto had selected was large and had a beer garden.

Jack led the Tylers, Donna, Mickey and Martha out of the house and into the bright summer sunshine but was suddenly stopped in his tracks by the sight before him.

Ianto Jones was leaning nonchalantly, almost lounging, against the bonnet of the black SUV, cutting a striking picture in his form fitting jet black suit, white shirt and black tie that accentuated his long legs, broad shoulders and narrow waist. With his face turned up to the sun he seemed to be basking in it's glow.

He obviously wasn't the only one appreciating the sight because he heard what sounded suspiciously like a giggle from Martha, an appreciative murmur from Rose, what sounded like a half strangled screech from Jackie and what may have been a vicious struggle between her and Donna to get a better look.

Mickey had obviously noticed too because Jack heard a rather put out voice behind him demand "Who the hell does he think he is then, James Bond?" in a disgruntled tone.

Jack let out a quiet chuckle at that "MUCH hotter than James Bond" he thought to himself as he took in Ianto. With a pair of black sunglasses on and his hands in his pockets he looked every inch the epitome of male elegance. And just a little bit like a secret agent.

Which Jack decided was incredibly hot and he mentally put the Secret Agent Suit higher on his list of What I Like Ianto Wearing usurping the Cute Suit.

They were both trumped however by Nothing At All which was holding a record breaking run at the top of the list.

"Ianto." Jack called breaking the reverie that seemed to have fallen over the group.

Ianto glanced down at him and instantly straightened, tall and poised. He tweaked his tie slightly and his face was a professional blank mask.

"Captain." Even his voice was neutral.

"You have the co-ordinates?" If Ianto wanted to play up the enigmatic stranger persona then Jack was more than willing to play along.

"Yes Sir."

"Very well-"

"Oh my Gawd! I don't believe it! You're that man! The one on the computer! You were in the nip!"

Jack was shocked by Donna's sudden outburst and jumped slightly at her bellowing voice. Ha! Another Gwen. Brash, loud, demanding- Ianto was_ really_ going to love her. He looked back to Ianto, interested to hear what he had to say to that rather impromptu outburst.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean Ms Noble you must have me confused with someone else." Ianto's face didn't even twitch and Jack marvelled at his fortitude as he went to lean against the SUV beside him and enjoy the look on Donna's face.

"One second Suit Boy! How the hell do you know my name?"

Ianto took a breath; "Donna Noble born 12 May 1968 to Sylvia Mott and Geoff Noble at a weight of 5lbs in The Royal Hope Hospital in London. No major childhood illness. Received all vaccines on assigned dates except MMR which had to be rescheduled. The official reason was a family holiday but it was actually because your mother was at bingo. Admitted to hospital 13 December 1978 with pneumonia following a fall through a frozen pond. Attended St Catherine's Grammar for Girls 1979-1986 left with 3 A Levels. BCC- French, Sociology and Home Economics."

Ianto paused for a breath and Jack very nearly laughed at the expressions of the faces staring at Ianto in open mouthed amazement, even Martha who frankly should have known better.

"Attended Hull University to read Media Studies and left after 2 years due to an 'altercation' with a lecturer. Had a number of part time jobs including one at H.C Clements where you met your ex-fiancée Lance Bennett, deceased, and where you helped the Doctor save the planet from the Racnoss on 24 December 2006. Apparently you turned down his offer of travelling through space and time, sensible." He gave an approving nod. "You met the Doctor again on 5th April 2008, when you exposed the Adipose and have been travelling with him ever since. Immediate family- Sylvia and Wilfred Mott currently living at 12 James St, London"

Ianto gave a miniscule smile that Jack supposed could be construed as being dangerous if you didn't know him really well.

"Did I miss anything?"

Stunned silence resonated and Jack really had to fight the hysterics that were threatening to bubble over at the sight of both Donna and Jackie gawping like goldfish.

Luckily he was spared when Martha gave a small laugh and moved forward to Ianto giving him a big hug and an affectionate kiss on the cheek which Ianto returned with a small smile.

"Donna Noble silenced. _Finally_. Its _good_ to see you Ianto. Really good."

She gave him another quick hug and whispered something in his ear that Jack couldn't quite catch. He thought he heard the word "Beret" and that paired with the delightful blush that coloured Ianto's cheeks made Jack grin smugly.

"Well.." Ianto cleared his throat and carefully avoided looking at Jack. "If everyone is sufficiently appeased, we should really go the Landlord is expecting us."

With that he turned and walked briskly around to the driver's seat of the SUV.

Jack took pity on the confused masses and said "We can take three of you guys in the SUV if the rest of you want to follow Ianto in another car he'll direct us."

And with a charming grin he got in beside Ianto but not before he very clearly heard Pete Tyler exclaim "I don't care how bloody _hot_ they are you are NOT getting into that SUV without me! For Gods sakes Jacks you're_ Married_!"

Jack glanced over at a very amused Ianto sitting in the driver's seat.

"Wanna ditch these dead weights and head back to the hotel?" He queried with a none too subtle waggle of his eyebrows.

Ianto gave him a sad resigned smile "We must suffer on Captain, the world needs us. Time won't stop just because Captain Jack Harkness is too horny to keep it in his pants." He leaned back slightly to observe what appeared to be a rather raucous argument that was currently going on in the street.

"This is entirely your fault Jones!"

That surprised Ianto enough for him to turn back from the ensuing chaos and give Jack his full attention. "My fault, why?"

"It's that bloody suit." Jack growled, reaching out and running his hands down the lapels of Ianto's jacket. "It's too sexy, it's turning sensible women into hormonal teenage schoolgirls and its distracting me from the problem at hand. I'm afraid you're going to have to take it off."

"Now?" Ianto laughed

"Yep, right now" Jack gave a very serious nod which was marred slightly by the large grin on his face as he pulled Ianto in for a kiss.

Which Ianto jerked back from as the back door opened and Martha jumped in.

Jack looked crushed but said solemnly to Ianto "At the nearest possible juncture then."

Ianto gave him a businesslike nod "I'll pencil that in sir."

"Am I interrupting something?" Martha enquired from the back as the two men shared a not very subtle, highly charged look.

"You seem to be asking that an awful lot Dr Jones, perhaps you need to work on your timing." Jack replied in a tone that suggested he had just been gravely offended.

"Yeah, you and Gwen could have a study group. Learn Better Timing In 7 Days Or Your Money Back!" Ianto added but the grin on his face eased the bitterness of his tone.

Martha snorted at the two of them and rolled her eyes.

"Can you please just tell them that you're dating, and then there won't be such a huge fight over who gets to ride in the SUV?" She asked impatiently.

"Dr Jones I am insulted by the insinuation." Ianto replied stiffly "And I would appreciate it if you kept that bit of information to yourself whilst we're here."

Martha gave him an amused look.

Jack glanced at Ianto "No seriously Martha, please just keep it quiet. It's none of their business and I don't want it affecting how anyone feels about us, our authority or our decision making skills. It's absolutely nothing to do with this mission and I'd like to keep it that way." Jack finished acknowledging Ianto's grateful smile with a slight nod.

"Alright, you're both old enough and ugly enough to make your own decisions I suppose. Don't worry Jack I'm not going to say anything. You can count on me." She added earnestly.

"Don't I know it." Jack replied with a fond grin.

He turned back to the front and opened his door "Rose Tyler and Donna Noble if the two of you aren't in this car in the next 15 seconds I will personally come out there, throw you over my shoulder and carry you in myself!"

Ianto groaned "Jack you're supposed to make them want to get in the SUV as soon as possible, not give them an incentive to stall."

Jack smirked "Rickey! You take Mr and Mrs Tyler and follow us."

Rose and Donna piled into the back beside Martha.

Jack twisted in his seat. "All set ladies? Seat belts on please." And with an easy smile he turned back around.

The atmosphere was more than a little tense. And the snarking began almost immediately.

"So you're his latest then." Rose asked in what she thought was an innocuous voice.

"And you're the _blonde_ ex. Figures." Donna shot back

"What's that supposed to mean."

"Yeah, definitely a natural."

"Don't you start up on me you ginger-"

"I don't know what you're laughing at Dr High And Mighty bet you never had to deal with fat monsters!"

"Space Rhinos"

"Slitheen"

"Shakespeare"

"Queen Victoria"

"Evil statue angel things"

"Evil cat nuns"

"Jack if I were to requisition a sound proof partition for the SUV how likely would you be to sign off on it?"

"Have you got the papers there? Because I'll sign them! I'll sign them right now!"

"Ood"

"Me too"

"Well the devil possessed mine!"

"Really…"

Ianto rolled his eyes and swore that he would never complain about Gwen's prattling again. Well maybe less than he did now.

He pulled the SUV away in as sharp a manner as he could, hoping to jolt the back seat passengers into silence.

It didn't work.

But Jack's reassuring hand on his thigh went a long ways to soothing his frazzled nerves.

* * *

Poor Jack & Ianto- They thought Gwen could bellow!!

I got most of that Donna stuff off wiki but alot of it is just made up cause at this point we dont actually know that much about her.

Please review.

Next chapter may be a while 'cause I'm in the middle of exams I'll try to have it done by next week.

Thanks to everyone who's reviewed sofar. :D


	6. Chapter 6

Fandom: Torchwood/Dr. Who

Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto also starring Gwen, Rhys, Martha, Donna, Rose, Mickey, Jackie, Pete, Martha's family and mentions of the Doctor.

Disclaimer:I don't own Torchwood or Who all belongs to RTD and the BBC

Warnings: Spoilers for all Torchwood and Who so far S1&2 Torchwood and s1-4 Who

and some suit envy.

Author's Note: Sorry if the characters are off. If they are please tell me and I'll fix them. Especially if Ianto and Jack start to get pathetic. I hate when Ianto gets written like a pathetic whinge.

This was the most difficult chapter, plot is Not my friend. Well I did my best. Tell me what you think. :D

* * *

Mickey Smith was suffering from a rather intense bout of Captain envy.

Mickey Smith was also suffering from a rather intense bout of Suit envy.

It certainly didn't help that the Captain and the Suit were being respectively ridiculously charming and enticingly mysterious.

Nor did it help that whilst Martha seemed immune to their charms Rose kept throwing them appreciative looks and Donna and Jackie were practically salivating. If Pete started making moo eyes at the Suit he was going to explode.

The Suit had led them to a quiet pub on the outskirts of London and seemingly knew his way around well as he greeted the landlord cordially and led them without hesitation to the beer garden.

When they emerged into the bright sunlight Mickey had to be begrudgingly impressed. There were two picnic tables shoved together and covered with food and drinks; which was a Godsend really as he'd had nothing to eat all day.

He took a seat and immediately wolfed down a salad sandwich despite the glare Rose was giving him and decided that perhaps the suit wasn't as bad as he looked.

Ianto watched with a wry smile as Mickey made a beeline for the table and scoffed a sandwich ignoring an obviously irritated Rose.

Ianto walked to the head of the table and stood just off Jack's right shoulder as everyone else took their seats.

"Alright." Jack said clearing his throat dramatically. "I believe introductions are in order. You all seem to be _acquainted_." The Doctor's female companions were ignoring each other as best they could at a picnic table. "So I think I can skip that bit."

"My name is Captain Jack Harkness and I'm head of Torchwood 3 in Cardiff. We're a non-governmental organisation who deal with aliens and invasions and all that other heebie jeebie stuff." He wiggled his eyebrows dramatically.

Ianto rolled his eyes at that, no matter how many times he wrote Jack a workable, coherent speech to use at times like this he insisted on doing it himself and, from the looks on the ensembled faces, confusing everyone.

Jack cleared his throat.

"Anyway this is Ianto Jones, he's our resident archivist at Torchwood Cardiff and he makes an excellent cup of coffee."

Ianto really hoped he left it at that, the usual introduction was not so good for making a decent first impression-

"And he looks fantastic in a suit."

Ianto huffed. Silently.

Outwardly he gave no indication that he'd heard what Jack had said and instead he pointedly avoided the agreeable noises emitted by the ladies.

"And I think Ianto already knows you all from your files so think we can skip that bit too and move on to the real business of the day."

"What do you mean files?" Rose asked looking apprehensive; Ianto saw her expression mirrored by the rest of the Tylers and Mickey.

"Torchwood has files on the lives, movements and associates of all the Doctor's companions." He glanced at Jack who nodded slightly at him. "We know all about you."

That served to creep everyone out so Ianto decided that perhaps some coffee would ease the tension and distrust that was pretty obviously directed at him and Jack.

"Coffee sir?"

"Good man Ianto, you get the coffee, that'll give Martha time to get her information ready." He looked at Martha who nodded and began to set up her laptop.

Ianto moved away from them back into the main pub acutely aware of Jack watching his behind and not hiding it very well. He was sure the barman would let him at the coffee making facilities; he'd been a regular here not so long ago.

This was the same pub that he and Lisa had had Sunday lunch in every week for almost two years. He was surprised that coming back here hadn't been nearly as hard as he'd expected. The dull roar that had claimed his mind for so long when he thought of Lisa had over time faded to a small jolt of loss and a rush of affection.

Now he could remember her fondly, do things that reminded him of her, watch her favourite movies, listen to her CDs and remember the good times without a feeling of all encompassing despair. It was nice.

Although the facilities were not up to his usual standard he had a packet of his special blend in his jacket that he never left Cardiff without (he had more in the SUV, for emergencies, stashed between the weevil spray and dinosaur nets). So the end result, whilst not up to his usual brilliance was still pretty damn good.

He made his way back to the beer garden expertly weaving his way through the throng of people in the pub despite his full tray of coffee mugs. The mood outside had darkened further by the time he returned and even Jack was starting to look a little unsure of himself. The last time he'd seen Jack this flustered he'd been attempting to ask Ianto out on a date. It was kinda amusing watching the brash, confident Captain floundering like a nervous teenager.

He silently passed by each person placing a mug beside each of them, Martha was the only one to thank him as the others were either staring sullenly at the table or shooting their spouse a dirty look. He reached Jack last and handed him a mug of his industrial strength coffee with a tiny private smile which Jack returned with added force when their fingers touched.

Ianto slid into his seat between Jack and Martha and opposite Mickey sipping his own coffee and watching the strangers over the top of his mug.

The coffee seemed to be working its magic and after a few muffled exclamations and a torrent of gushing in his general direction the entire party could be proclaimed to be a collectively better mood.

Martha drew their attention back to the problem at hand when she placed her laptop between Ianto and Jack and said: "So can Torchwood help us?"

Ianto glanced at the screen in front of him and quickly scanned the list of items. They all appeared to be transportation or teleport devices and off the top of his head he couldn't say he recognised any of them from the archives.

He pulled the laptop towards him and brought up a tab to access the Torchwood databases and ran a quick search of electronic archives.

"No nothing of the sort Martha, sorry." He shook his head and glanced at Jack who was giving Martha a measured look.

"So, don't UNIT have any teleportation devices?" He asked her a little sceptically.

Martha blushed slightly "They very well may have Jack but I certainly don't know about it and I don't have the access to check the computer database."

"I thought you had Level 1 security clearance" Jack reasoned.

"I do. It just doesn't clear me for the archives."

"So you can launch nuclear missiles but you can't search for alien ipods?" Jack asked incredulously.

"Not really important right now Jack! I was hoping you could maybe get Tosh to take a look at it. She's pretty handy with the hacking, got us into the Pharm easily enough."

Ianto flinched slightly at the mention of Tosh and looked at Jack. His face had tightened slightly and when he answered his voice was sharp and cool.

"Toshiko Sato is dead."

Martha's face fell, shock and a flicker of grief passed over her.

"Oh my God, Jack, I'm so sorry."

Jack nodded sadly at her and offered a strained smile. Ianto placed a discreet hand on Jack's knee under the table and Jack put his hand over it.

"What happened?"

Ianto saw Jack struggling a bit so stepped in to answer. His voice sounded tight to his own ears but he forged on.

"Remember those explosions in Cardiff last month?" Martha nodded. "Well, let's just say it was Torchwood related and Tosh and Owen got caught in the crossfire."

"Ianto I'm so sorry. I don't know-"

"Right well." Ianto interrupted her with forced brightness "I'm no where near Tosh's brilliance but I'll certainly give it ago. She taught me a good bit during all those late nights sessions in the Hub" He gave her a small smile that didn't reach his eyes.

Jack gave his hand another squeeze before letting it go so he could pull over the laptop and get started on getting into UNIT.

"Might as well not bother mate." Mickey said out of the blue "I know a fair bit about computers and I couldn't get past the first firewall."

"Thank Christ we're not relying on his technical brilliance." Jack muttered to Ianto as he glanced over his shoulder. "That is why Mickey Smith will never work for Torchwood in_ this _universe."

Ianto gave no outward sign he'd heard Jack but silently concurred, imagine replacing Tosh's brilliance with an idiot like _that_.

"Accessing the archives should be relatively simple." Martha offered "You just have to think like an archivist and no offence Ianto, but you're a strange breed."

Ianto smiled at that his eyes intent upon the screen in front of him and his fingers ghosting over the keys.

Jack had just been about to ask Rose what exactly Torchwood London had been getting up to in her Universe when Ianto let out a little triumphant noise and leaned back from the computer.

"You In?" he asked excitedly.

"Yes sir." Ianto was managing to look only a little bit smug as he glanced at Mickey's dumbfounded and slightly jealous expression.

"Ianto Jones I could kiss you." Ianto raised an eyebrow at him; the non verbal equivalent of _if you even think about it you're sleeping in the ensuite tonight._

But Jack didn't get time to weigh the pros and cons of planting a kiss on him because at that moment Ianto's mobile rang and he had to stumble in his pocket to get it out. He glanced at the screen to see the caller ID.

"Excuse me I have to take this." He said politely standing up from the bench.

As he walked to a quiet area of the garden they distinctly heard him say "Good Afternoon Your Majesty…..yes very well…still a handful…I do my best."

"Did he just say Your Majesty!" Donna asked flabbergasted.

Jack gave a smug nod and beamed.

"The bleedin' Queen!" Jackie exclaimed.

"You mean to say that the Queen of Great Britain has Ianto's mobile number and she just randomly calls him up from time to time?" Rose asked.

_Sometimes at the most inopportune moments._ Jack thought remembering a particular instance when Ianto was _otherwise engaged_ but had thought it rude to let the Queen go to voicemail. Jack had delighted in trying to get him all flustered. Every time Ianto had tried to kick him away Jack had just grinned and mouthed "For Queen and country" at him.

"Well she won't even speak to me since the _incident_ with the teapot." Jack laughed "That was a fun weekend! Ianto conducts most of the interaction between us and the Palace…and Downing Street." He thought for a moment "…And UNIT. I should really give him a raise."

Their conversation broke off as Ianto came back towards the table and slumped back into his seat giving Jack a small smile.

"All set sir. Meetings are now confirmed with the Prime Minister, Her majesty, UNIT, the Ministry of Defence and the Future Options Committee."

"Did they give you any trouble?"

"Once I promised that I would attend all meetings without a certain Captain, I couldn't have been more warmly welcomed. In fact Minister Hathaway went as far as to call you a menace."

"Menace? How dare he! I was never anything less than cordial to that man and his wife."

"Jack you were significantly more that _cordial_ to his wife if I remember correctly. Christmas Ball last year."

"Good times." Jack laughed heartily

"What's with all the meetings?" Pete asked Ianto "Why don't you just go and take whatever it is you need."

"That's what I said" Jack nodded emphatically throwing his hands up in exasperation and turning to fix Ianto with a level look.

"As I've already said Jack" He gave him a pointed look. "Diplomacy can sometimes work in our favour. If we took it without asking I'd have Colonel Mace ringing me every other day complaining about our lack of respect for guidelines and threatening to report us to the MOD or demanding a spot inspection of the Hub, which you know would result in Myfanway eating another Government Inspector."

Jack gave a bark of laughter at that and his eyes glazed slightly at the memory. "Oh Yeah, hell of a week that was."

"Quite." Ianto agreed. "Besides we can always break in and steal it if they won't let us have it. We have all their blueprints and security codes here." He gestured at the screen.

Ianto glanced at his watch. "I'd better be going Jack; first meeting's in half an hour."

He took out the keys of the SUV and handed them to Jack. "I'll get a taxi, it's not that far. If I'm not back tonight I'll meet you at the Jones' in the morning."

He turned to Martha "Good to see you again Dr Jones."

"Mr Jones" She nodded mock seriously smiling at him.

He turned to the others, "Ladies, Mr Tyler, Mr Smith it's been a pleasure."

And with a band smile he turned on his heel and left in the direction of the pub.

Jack watched him go and shouted; "Give my regards to Lizzie!" Ianto didn't turn back.

"So he makes the coffee" Rose asked Jack

"Yep."

"You have a tea boy who's on speaking terms with the most powerful people in the country, can hack into top secret military databases and knows the contents of your archives off by heart?"

"Sounds about right."

"Can't wait to meet your janitor. What's he a nuclear physicist!?"

I_f only you knew _Jack laughed to himself as he sipped his water and reached for another ham and cheese sandwich.

_If only you knew._

* * *

Next Chapter; An update on Gwen & Rhys live from the Hub-let the chaos ensue!!

Thanks to everone who has reviewed it makes me sooo happy! I actually was checkin' up in Uni the other day and I stopped breathing with excitement for a couple of minutes and thought I'd pass out...might have been the heat...But Im pretty sure it was the awesomeness of the reviews.

Please feel free to criticise if anything seems wrong!

Cheersies! :D


	7. Chapter 7

Fandom: Torchwood/Dr. Who

Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto also starring Gwen, Rhys, Martha, Donna, Rose, Mickey, Jackie, Pete, Martha's family and mentions of the Doctor.

Disclaimer:I don't own Torchwood or Who all belongs to RTD and the BBC

Warnings: Spoilers for all Torchwood and Who so far S1&2 Torchwood and s1-4 Who

Bad language and Jack Harkness' filthy mind and mouth!

Author's Note: Sorry if the characters are off. If they are please tell me and I'll fix them. Especially if Ianto and Jack start to get pathetic. I hate when Ianto gets written like a pathetic whinge.

I dont own Harry Potter and nor does Torchwood-its all JK Rowling's. But PoA is the best book!!

Also just a note; Is it just me or is John Barrowman taking over the world-he was on Ready Steady Cook (Acting like a spaz) AND This Morning this week as well as his 2 Sat night Tv Shows!!

IMPORTANT TORCHWOOD NEWS!! On RSC he said that there will be s3 Torchwood but it'll be a "Big Change For All Of Us" I dont think he was referring to Tosh & Owen. I'm Worried.

* * *

Rhys Williams was bored.

He was in a Top secret organisation's base which was packed to the hilt with alien kit and he was bored.

The main reason for this was that every time he went to touch something it seemed to be covered in post-its saying **_"Don't touch me. No REALLY don't touch me."_** and then Gwen would swoop in and explode at him to "Stop messin' around with stuff you don't understand Rhhhyyyyys."

He knew she was only on a short fuse because the Rift had been quiet and she was just as mind numbingly, arse-clenchingly bored as he was.

He couldn't even make himself a coffee because he was banned for the coffee machine after he'd accidentally changed one of the settings. Gwen had ominously shaken her head and said "Ianto's going to kill you." And then banished him to get them both a Starbucks.

He couldn't surf the internet in peace or play computer games as each computer monitor had been adorned with a pink post-it proclaiming the message;

_**As systems administrator, I would like to remind all users that I have access to the histories on each of the Hub's computers. Also that under article 24 b of The Official Secrets Act misuse of Torchwood Company property is punishable by a hefty fine and possible life imprisonment. This includes downloading, uploading or sharing materials of a pornographic nature, computer games, yodelling competitions etc **_

_**Enjoy your stay.**_

_**Yours,**_

_**Ianto Jones. **_

Someone, probably Jack, Rhys reasoned, had written on the bottom in blue marker **_"Does pornography include the Hub's CCTV cameras?"_**

He couldn't snoop in Jacks office because it was locked, he couldn't look at the aliens because the weevils were on heat and it was just _wrong _and he couldn't play with the pterodactyl because she was moping in her nest.

"Pining for Ianto." Gwen had uttered with an deadly serious expression when Rhys had asked.

Rhys found this faintly ridiculous and had responded with "Get a grip Gwen, how does a pterodactyl pine?"

This had resulted in her snapping "Fine, you feed her next time and see how many fingers you loose. Then tell me she's not pining!"

Rhys was certain that if Ianto and Jack weren't back within the week one of them would feed the other to Myfanway.

So instead of sitting around wishing he was with Dav and Banana down the pub, idly wondering what the hell Gwen was doing on the computer (bebo stalking probably), or wondering how, with all their alien tech, Torchwood didn't have a television-Rhys decided to go exploring.

He had managed to slip out of the main Hub without Gwen noticing him and down the tunnel that he was fairly positive led to the archives- mainly because the tiles on the wall had read 'Archives' in that old fashioned Gothic script and the arrow pointed down this tunnel.

He neared a pair of grand looking doors and swore quietly when he saw a tell tale pink square glowing at him in the relative darkness of the tunnel. Another bloody post-it. He was beginning to think that Ianto had a weird stationary fetish.

He was surprised to find that it wasn't a post-it rather a small florescent pink plaque that read;

**Ianto's domain; abandon hope all ye who enter here. **

**If you need something come ask. Do NOT try to find it yourself (Owen).**

Rhys heard a small laugh behind him and spun around to see Gwen reading the plaque over his shoulder.

She gave a small smile despite the tears shining in her eyes. "I remember when we bought that."

"Ianto had just spent half an hour ranting to himself in Welsh because Owen had managed to mix up X-Z whilst trying to look up Zombies for a possible film script idea."

She gave a strangled half-laugh half-sob and Rhys pulled her into his arms. She leant against his chest and he could feel her tears through the material of his T-Shirt. When she gained a bit of control back she continued;

"He had to spend a week sorting it out and Jack was furious at Owen because Ianto had refused to make any coffee until his Archives were back in order. So when Tosh and I went to get some coffee at Starbucks we called into a little craft shop and they made it up for us."

Rhys looked down at her and she smiled up at him through the snot and tears. "There were good times too Rhys. This job, it can destroy you but they were my friends. The benefits are worth the risk." She nodded to herself, seemingly settling some internal debate. "It's worth the risk."

Rhys knew that she'd been struggling with whether to stay at Torchwood or not. As much as he worried about her he was proud of her and he wasn't going to force her to give up a job she loved. It was dangerous but apparently Gwen had decided that the fight was worth the risks involved. He secretly agreed, he'd been contemplating asking Jack if he needed any more help now Tosh and Owen were gone, he'd done alright with that space whale hadn't he?

He was just about to run the idea past Gwen when her phone rang. She squirmed out of his hold and walked back up towards the main Hub answering the phone as she walked.

"Hello….Jack…How's it going?"

Rhys sighed. The job might be worth the risk but that didn't stop him despairing at how it always managed to worm its way between them. Married to Gwen meant married to Torchwood. He grinned; _guess that technically makes Captain Jack Harkness my wife._ He had a flash of Harkness in an apron hoovering and laughed outright.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

150 miles away Jack Harkness was most certainly NOT contemplating what it might be like to have Rhys Williams as a wife.

He was slumped on the sofa in the Jones' front room alone. Martha had disappeared to bed half an hour ago as had the rest of her family, Clive muttering "Some of us have _real_ jobs." as he ascended the staircase.

Donna, Mickey and the Tylers had all retired to their hotel with the promise to be back at 7am to start phase two of Mission 'Save-the-Martian-from-his-own-stupidity'. Donna had come up with the name and Jack had been surprised when Ianto had seconded her over the phone from Downing Street.

Ianto was still stuck in meetings and had phoned to tell Jack that it looked like it could possibly take all night and that he'd meet him at the Jones' in the morning. So far it wasn't looking good on the political front. Ianto kept running into brick walls each way he turned. UNIT had flat out refused to do Torchwood any favours as they were still pissed off about not being told about the Risen Mitten and the channels that Ianto was now frantically pursuing to overrule that decision weren't working out too well.

Ianto had just been about to go into a meeting with The Future Options Committee, who were acting in the place of Torchwood One until it was decided how best to reinvent it, when Jack had spoken to him. He had sounded calm but Jack could hear a slight nervousness in his voice, he was about to face some of the people who had contributed to the devastation at Torchwood One.

Not only that but he had been sufficiently freaked out to tell Jack that one of the Committee members had actually been his immediate superior in the research department and had abandoned his subordinates in the Archives at the first sign of attack.

"One minute he was yelling over the intercom about some artefact that needed to be catalogued the next he was hightailing it out of the building like he was on fire. There were plenty of people on fire Jack, he wasn't one of them. He didn't even warn us."

"You'll be fine Ianto, just take the high ground. We need this device. If you're still tense when you get back I'll let my hands work their magic, how does that sound?"

"Completely inappropriate seeing as I'm about to go into a meeting with our direct superiors."

"Remember Ianto, superiors in name only. You take your lead from me. Don't let them boss you around. I'm in charge of Torchwood Cardiff and you're directly under me."

"Literally or metaphorically?" He could almost taste Ianto's smirk.

"Depends, if you play your cards right……"

"Don't even pretend to be hard to get Captain, it ill becomes you."

"How about just hard?"

Ianto made a indignant noise down the phone that made Jack laugh.

"I have to go Jack people are giving me looks. Ring Gwen to check up on her and tell her to stay away from the coffee machine, and the archives…and tell her that Myfanway likes some chocolate before bed, it helps her sleep. Bye."

"Bye" Jack said chuckling but Ianto was already gone.

His conversation with Gwen however was not going as well, he'd been talking to her for 20 minutes and he hadn't been able to utter a single inappropriate innuendo. Gwen wasn't helping matters by spending the entire conversation ranting about well, everything.

He had asked to talk to Rhys, under the pretence of warning him about keeping his mouth shut but really to get away from Gwen's tirade. That plan was cut short when Gwen informed him that Rhys didn't want to talk to him because he was 'a showy bastard who doesn't even have a Telly.'

Gwen then started to tell him about how insufferably uncomfortable the beds in the Hub were and how she couldn't sleep with Myfanway screeching and about some bleeding hearts story she'd read about a kitten who got trapped in a well or rescued an old lady from a well or something, he wasn't really paying attention.

"Yeah Gwen that's great…I gotta go busy, busy, busy, you know me..yeah…I'll ring you tomorrow….yea…night…try giving her some chocolate… yea…no …no… maybe … yea…bye."

Something was seriously wrong with that woman lately. It was probably just her way of coping with the City being almost destroyed-being emotional and clingy.

Rooting around in the living room he found an old copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and settled down to read it. He had absolutely no intention of going back to the hotel all on his own, might as well just wait here til morning. Stretching his tall form out on the sofa, careful to keep his boots off the material, he flipped open the book.

Sponsoring the work of JK Rowling and authorising the use of Torchwood archives in her work had been one of Yvonne Hartman's better ideas, they'd made an absolute fortune.

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Ianto Jones was exhausted by the time he stepped out of a taxi in front of the Jones' house.

It was 5AM and he'd just spent the last 12 hours arguing with a never-ending supply of politicians and jumped up bureaucrats and being served so much terrible coffee that by the time he got to Downing Street he was drink tea. Which in Torchwood was very close to sacrilege.

He got to the door before he realised that he didn't have a key and as it was 5 O Clock in the morning the likelihood of anyone being up would be very slim. Groaning he slumped onto the doorstep in an ungainly manner and put his head down, kneading his tired eyes against his knees. He could probably get an hours kip here. God knows he'd slept in less comfortable places. Jack's ridiculously small bed for one.

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Jack was woken by the sound of the taxi door banging and realising that it was probably Ianto, he extracted himself from his coat to meet him at the door. It took a bit longer than expected as the long coat had twisted around his legs and when he got to the door he couldn't see Ianto through the glass.

He pulled the door open and was startled when Ianto tumbled backwards into the hallway.

Jack laughed at Ianto's confused pout as he blinked blearily up at him.

"Jack?" A tiny, adorable frown edged its way between Ianto's brows.

"Ianto" Jack was restraining the urge to kiss the little frown off his face.

"What.." Ianto was obvious confused and exhausted so Jack took pity on him and pulled him to his feet.

Wrapping one arm around his waist and keeping a firm grip on his elbow with the other Jack guided Ianto over to the sofa and sat him down, then knelt and removed his shoes.

Moving up he began to undo Ianto's belt, shoving away the Ianto's hands when he tried brush him off.

"Jack, I'm tired. Need to sleep. Sleep first then we can have sex. I promise." Ianto's voice was earnest but tired and Jack grinned at him.

"Don't worry Ianto. I'm not taking advantage, just making you more comfortable. Now sit back and relax."

He went back to work humming softly and felt Ianto relax under his hands. The jacket was gone, waistcoat unbuttoned and tie removed before Jack let Ianto lie down and surrender to his exhaustion. "At least hang the jacket up Jack." Ianto whispered his eyes half lidded and a hint of reproach in his voice. Jack just nodded and rubbed a hand through his hair soothingly. Ianto was asleep in seconds.

Jack stood and watched him sleeping for a minute in the eerie stillness of the living room, the only noise Ianto's soft breaths, realising for the first time in a long time just how young Ianto was. Not even 25 years old. Ianto's eyes were too old for his years, Jack silently resolved that as soon as they got back to Cardiff and relative normality he'd do something to make Ianto feel young, feel his age. Something simple; a rugby match or a nightclub or even just a trip to the cinema.

He took his coat and draped it delicately over his sleeping lover, the dawn's first rays were streaming through the net curtains and bathed him in a warm red glow. He smiled as Ianto snuggled into the coat a bit and let out a contented sigh.

Tomorrow he'd act, but for now he was content to watch.

* * *

Righto.

I wrote this instead of revising so if I fail my exams I'm blaming the fanfiction.

Do you think the examining board would accept that as an extenuating circumstance-they should.

NEXT CHAPT: EMO Ianto!! Well a bit emo. I hate the emo. I really hope he's not too emo.

Thanks for reviewing everyone.

Let me know what you think. Criticism is welcomed.

Cheersies. :D


	8. Chapter 8

Fandom: Torchwood/Dr. Who

Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto also starring Gwen, Rhys, Martha, Donna, Rose, Mickey, Jackie, Pete, Martha's family and mentions of the Doctor.

Disclaimer:I don't own Torchwood or Who all belongs to RTD and the BBC

Warnings: Spoilers for all Torchwood and Who so far S1&2 Torchwood and s1-4 Who

Bad language and Jack Harkness' filthy mind and mouth!

Author's Note: Sorry if the characters are off. If they are please tell me and I'll fix them. Especially if Ianto and Jack start to get pathetic. I hate when Ianto gets written like a pathetic whinge.

I dont own Harry Potter and nor does Torchwood-its all JK Rowling's.

The poem Ianto quotes is 'Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night' by Dylan Thomas and it's brilliant check it out.

ALSO: This chapter was the one most in danger of Ianto being a big huge EMO! But I hope he didn't come out like that if he did,apologies... :D

* * *

Martha Jones was definitely a morning person.

She had always enjoyed getting up with the sun, a trait which had helped her enormously as a medical student and on her travels with the Doctor.

It was also quite handy in the mornings before school when she was a teenager. Most mornings whilst Tish and Leo had fought over the shower and the mirror she had been up for an hour and was washed and ready to go.

So it was no problem for her to be up at 6AM, showered and dressed by 6.20AM and descending the stairs at 6.23AM. She moved into the living room first to see if Jack was awake yet- she knew he'd stay the night if Ianto wasn't coming back.

So expecting Captain Jack Harkness, Martha was very surprised to discover that there was an imposter posing as Ianto Jones on her sofa. She knew this was not the real Ianto Jones because his tie was on the floor, his waistcoat and jacket were haphazardly slung over the armchair and his shoes were at opposite ends of the room.

_He's been cloned. _Was the first thought that came to mind._ Sontarans again. _That's it-Sontarans had cloned Ianto, snuck him back to her house then killed Jack took his coat and put it over Clone Ianto to keep him warm until he acclimatised to earth's atmosphere!

Martha smiled widely at the ridiculousness of that explanation and went into the kitchen quietly so as not to disturb her sleeping friend. There she found Jack standing with a cup of coffee.

He gave her a huge good morning smile but she opened her mouth to reply his face fell rapidly and he made a number of frantic gestures that she assumed were supposed to be interpreted as;

"_**Shut the hell up, you fool! Can't you see that my gorgeous employee and lover is trying to sleep in the next room?! Honestly woman!"**_

So instead she silently got a mug, then silently poured some coffee, then silently got some biscuits…and silently yelped in pain when Jack smacked her hand away from the biscuit packet.

Martha silently gave Jack a contemptuous glare which he replied to with another spastic series of hand movements and facial expressions followed by a pointed glare towards the living room. Which she interpreted as;

"_**Dearest Martha, you go and put your feet up for I, Captain Jack Harkness, shall provide you with sustenance. I intend upon cooking a full English breakfast and I expect not to be interrupted. If you would be so kind as to leave and perhaps check on Ianto for me that would be marvellous. But please don't wake him; he's only been asleep for a couple of hours."**_

Martha grinned at Jack and retreated to the relative safety of the living room. Ianto was breathing softly and Martha looked down at him fondly, she'd never really noticed just how young Ianto was, just a year older than her, but he hid it well behind suits and formal manners. Then again she didn't exactly feel young these days.

Walking over to the armchair she picked up Harry Potter off the ground and smiled at Jack's immaturity. The man might be centuries old but sometimes he was just a big child. Curling up in the chair she opened the book and sipped some of her coffee-it was terrible.

After about 5 minutes she was startled by a noise coming from Ianto. Glancing over the top of her book she saw he had curled up into a ball and was making quiet keening noises, his body shuddering violently.

Martha leapt out of her chair and was on her knees in front of Ianto in seconds. His face was twisted in agony and tears were streaming down his face. She grabbed his shoulder and his eyes snapped open, he struggled against her violently.

"Ianto! Ianto! Can you hear me? Ianto wake up! JACK! JACK!"

Jack came skidding into the room and taking one look at Ianto's flailing and cursed in a language that Martha was pretty sure wouldn't be invented for a couple of thousand years. Jack practically shoved her out of the way and dropped to his knees taking Ianto's face in his hands.

"Ianto, it's me Jack, can you hear me?"

He evidently couldn't or didn't recognise Jack because he was still struggling and shouting incoherently trying to throw Jack off. But his efforts were in vain, as the struggling increased Jack eased himself down on top of Ianto pinning him to the sofa with his weight and holding his arms so he didn't hurt himself.

Ianto's struggles were getting weaker and as Martha watched his face lost the pained expression as his body seemed to relax into the sofa and his breathing slowed.

"Jack?" Ianto breathed his face millimetres from Jack's.

"Yea, it was just a dream, you're safe." Jack replied gently.

"Safe." Ianto agreed with a tiny nod.

"OK?" Jack asked with a shaky laugh.

"Yeah" Ianto replied with a small, unsteady smile.

Martha watched, not quite sure if she should be intruding on such a private moment and tried to edge quietly out of the room. This just brought her to Ianto's attention and his head snapped round sharply, Martha detected a flicker of panic on his face before the customary blank mask slipped into place.

"Martha, get a glass of water will you?" Jack asked her looking significantly in the direction of the kitchen.

"Of course" Martha said and rushed into the kitchen wondering what the hell that had been all about. She knew that in their line of work nightmares were sometimes common, but _Ianto_? He wasn't exactly the hysterical type.

When she went back into the living room Martha saw that Ianto and Jack had sat up and were talking quietly, heads close together and their hands linked loosely on Jack's lap.

"Here you go Ianto." The hands untangled quickly.

"Thank you Martha." Ianto said looking just like his usual self and seeming calm and centered, like nothing had ever happened.

"So what..?"

"I'd rather not talk about it if you don't mind."

"Ianto I know the job is hard, horrific sometimes and what happened to Tosh and Owen its only natura-"

"Please Martha don't."

"You need to talk to someone about this Ianto I've done some counsel-"

"Martha." Jack interrupted sharply "Leave it alone."

"Listen Jack. It's your responsibility to ensure that your employees have all the support they need emotionally in order to deal with their jobs. So soon after a bereavement...You haven't even gotten them anyone to talk to have you?" She asked accusingly her eyes narrowing at the guilty expression on Jack's face.

"Martha." Ianto's quiet voice cut across her tirade. "The nightmare wasn't about Tosh and Owen, it was something else." His voice grew stronger and more insistent "And it was _private_. Nothing to do with you, nothing to do with Jack. Not his fault. Not your problem."

Ianto stood and gathered his jacket and waistcoat. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get a change of clothes from the SUV and then I'll see about breakfast before Jack decides to make the infamous Harkness Full English and burns the kitchen down." He favoured them with a tight smile before going out the front door, closing it gently behind him.

The silence between Martha and Jack was tense and she had just opened her mouth to ask him what was going on when he rounded on her sharply.

"Do you know about Canary Wharf?"

"What?"

"Canary Wharf, have you read the files?"

"Yeah, but Jack what.."

"Ianto was there." Jack said brusquely not looking her in the eye, his face strained. "He was trapped in that burning building for hours with Cybermen and Daleks raging war above him. He was there when his entire team was massacred and he was there when the Cybermen dragged away the love of his life for experimental conversion."

Martha was horrified "Jack.."

"No! Martha you wanted to know, so now you're damned well going to listen." Jacks voice was like steel and he looked her dead in the eye his gaze stern and unyielding.

"He was trapped under fallen rubble for 3 hours whilst UNIT ignored the survivors and scavenged what they could from the ruins. They didn't care about the _little people_." Jack spat scornfully trying hard to contain his rage.

"When he got free he found the girl that he loved more than life itself had been twisted and warped into a perverse joke of humanity;..half-human half-metal. Neither living nor dead. But he dragged her out. He dragged her out and he kept her safe because he loved her more than anything on this earth. She died that day. Ianto's Lisa died and so did all of his friends, his entire life in London was reduced to ash in a single day."

Jack's tone was bitter and he had a cruel smile on his face as he continued. "And then we come back to London to help you and the Doctor and he has to have intimate meetings with the people who left them there to die. I think he's entitled to a few nightmares, don't you Dr Jones."

And with that he stood abruptly and not waiting for a response he swept out the front door slamming it behind him and leaving Martha Jones alone feeling ashamed and disgusted.

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The Tylers, Donna and Mickey arrived at 7.15AM to a house filled with the smell of cooking sausages, bacon and eggs and they were pleasantly surprised when Martha guided them into the dining to find Francene, Clive and Tish sitting at the table enjoying the fruits of Ianto's labour.

The table was filled with plates of sausages, scrambled egg, bacon, toast, beans, pudding-anything you could want actually.

"Excellent!" Mickey enthused and sat down, immediately grabbing a plate and filling it.

"Help yourself." Tish said sarcastically watching Mickey with a look of distaste.

Francene asked the others to take a seat and they did so just as Ianto came through from the kitchen with a pot of tea and one of coffee. He pointedly ignored Martha's concerned glances.

"Good Morning." He greeted with a small smile. "Can I get anyone anything?"

"How much is Jack paying you Ianto Jones? Because I'll double it." Pete said with a grin whilst stuffing a sausage in his mouth and accepting a cup of coffee. "You might like our universe..if we ever get back."

"Sorry sir but I'm contractually obligated to Torchwood for the foreseeable future."

"How long for?" Rose asked curiously

"The rest of my life." Ianto replied with a small smile.

"That's terrible!" Donna exclaimed, up until now she'd been quiet and Ianto hoped she was hung over or something-unfortunately not. "You'll be running around after aliens until you get your pension...I can think of better ways to spend my time."

"I doubt that Ms Noble." Ianto said curtly as he rearranged the plates to make room to place the coffee pot.

"Why's that then?" Jackie asked

Ianto sighed, uncomfortably aware that everyone at the table was now giving him their undivided attention. How had that happened? He spent his entire life being invisible. Bloody loud-mouthed Londoners!

"Let's just say that the Torchwood pension fund has been redirected into alternate ventures."

"Right I've bloody had my fill of cryptic answers and you Torchwood lot avoiding questions!" Donna exploded. "Give me a straight answer suit boy or I'll kick it outta ya!"

Ianto placed the teapot down, straightened his tie and looked her dead in the eye, his gaze cool and direct. When he spoke his voice was emotionless and carefully controlled.

"The average age of death for Torchwood employees is 36 years of age. The average age of death for Torchwood Cardiff employees over the last 110 years is 34 years. In the last 10 years due to increased rift activity the average age of death for Torchwood Cardiff employees has fallen to 29 years. The average term of service for Torchwood employees is 3-5 years. I have 4 years under my belt and I'm 25 this month. I'd say I'm running on borrowed time. What would you say Donna?"

There was silence.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'll just check that Jack isn't destroying the pancakes."

Slightly embarrassed by his outburst Ianto turned back towards the kitchen and strode out of the room. Really he shouldn't have lost his cool like that but he was still exhausted and on edge following his nightmare. These women made him long to get back to Cardiff and Gwen. Sure she was demanding and nosy, but at least she had some sensitivity and tact. At least she cared.

When he walked into the kitchen Jack turned and Ianto knew he'd heard every word. He looked miserable and depressed and lonely.

"Jack.."

Jack didn't say anything, just walked over to him and enveloped him in a powerful embrace. Ianto struggled at first, neither of them were much for public displays of affection-_if anyone walked in_.

But then he stopped.

Stopped thinking. Stopped analysing. Stopped the constant rush of thoughts that raced through his mind every second of every day and just _was. _

It was just him and Jack and that was it. No complications. Ianto relaxed into the embrace and rested his head on Jacks shoulder as Jack mirrored his action.

"You won't die young." Jack whispered stubbornly "I won't allow it."

"Do not go gentle into that good night," Ianto sighed leaning into Jack with his eyes closed. "Old age should burn and rave at close of day;" He gave a short ironic laugh. "Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

Jack pulled back and gave him a funny look and a crooked smile. "You can be frighteningly morbid sometimes Ianto Jones."

"It's called culture Jack, and I think you're mistaking the word morbid with the word brilliant."

"Of course, my mistake." He gave a short laugh and looked at Ianto intently. "Are you OK though."

"I'm absolutely fine Jack. I was just tired and I might have snapped a tiny little bit. But it's nothing to worry about."

"Good." Jack said. "Because I'm going to need you firing on all cylinders for breaking into UNIT tonight. Seeing as they refuse to settle this amicably we'll just have to get inventive."

Ianto nodded and moved away to take the pan off the heat as it had started to emit a plume of black smoke.

"Of course I could always just go by myself-"

"Not a chance Harkness, I have the blueprints and security codes memorized. I also took the liberty of downloading the security guard's schedule."

Jack smiled as Ianto continued to move around the kitchen putting out small fires and dispersing smoke.

"Besides, think I'm going to miss the opportunity of watching your ass in tight black trousers climbing over a perimeter fence?"

A mischievous smirk made its way onto Ianto's lips.

"Not on your immortal life."

* * *

Please review and let me know your thoughts.

Feel free to criticise especially any emoness.

NEXT CHAPT: ACTION!! The boys get dressed like ninjas and do some asskickin'

CHEERSIES! :D


	9. Chapter 9

Fandom: Torchwood/Dr. Who

Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto also starring Gwen, Rhys, Martha, Donna, Rose, Mickey, Jackie, Pete, Martha's family and mentions of the Doctor.

Disclaimer:I don't own Torchwood or Who all belongs to RTD and the BBC

Warnings: Spoilers for all Torchwood and Who so far S1&2 Torchwood and s1-4 Who

A tiny bit of blood and DEATH! and Jack Harkness' filthy mind and mouth!

Author's Note: Sorry if the characters are off. If they are please tell me and I'll fix them. Especially if Ianto and Jack start to get pathetic. I hate when Ianto gets written like a pathetic whinge.

Here comes the action!!

* * *

Ianto Jones was frustrated.

It took a lot to frustrate Ianto Jones, but Jack Harkness was succeeding very well. He had just spent the last 20 minutes trying to entice Ianto into an ill-advised tryst in the front passenger seat of the SUV.

But as they were currently parked just meters from the perimeter fence of the UNIT facility they were planning to break into Ianto thought that it might not be a good idea to get _distracted. _

That hadn't stopped Jack from trying though.

"Come on Jones."

"Back off Harkness."

"Come on, you have to admit; you, me, Top Secret Mission, tight black clothes, the risk of some stuffy Colonel finding us; it is sexy."

"As I've told you before Captain some fetishes should be kept to yourself."

"Iant-"Jack was surprised when Ianto leaned over to him and placed a hand on his lap in a very delicate area.

When he spoke his breath was hot and moist on Jack's neck. It made him shiver agreeably. "Or at least saved for a more opportune moment."

Ianto gave an inviting smirk similar to the one he wore when he propositioned Jack over weevil hunting or with stopwatches. It made Jack want to forget about the mission entirely and move into the back seat. But Ianto withdrew before Jack could kiss him and returned to look at the blueprints in front of him with a smirk on his face.

Point 1 Jones.

"Aren't you supposedto be monitoring the security comms Jack?" He asked innocently.

Jack Harkness was feeling very frustrated.

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At exactly 12.24AM Jack and Ianto left the SUV and went to the perimeter fence their movements were silent and graceful. At 12.32 there would be a patrol but if they got over the fence in the next 40 seconds they could utilise a CCTV black spot and get to the main compound.

Jack flipped open his wrist strap and pressed a button to disable the electricity coursing through the wire and they pressure alarms that were so sensitive they went off if a butterfly landed on the fence.

Then ever the gentle man he linked his lands and offered Ianto a boost with a courtly bow. Ianto rolled his eyes but accepted and vaulted over the top of the fence landing in a deep crouch. Jack followed quickly and Ianto grabbed him as he dropped to steady his landing.

They set off across the grass, Jack following Ianto as he moved in a precise pattern avoiding the paths of 27 roving CCTV cameras. Jack marvelled at him as he followed Ianto learning the path of CCTV cameras- this kid would have made an excellent criminal-lucky for Torchwood that he never pursued a life of crime after his little shoplifting incident.

They reached the wall of building D3 and Ianto motioned Jack towards the door. Jack nodded and approached the heavily fortified steel door cautiously pulling a deactivation device out of his pocket. He fried the electrical field and any pressure monitors then nodded to Ianto who entered a 9 digit code into the panel beside the door.

The door swung open silently and Jack entered warily doing a quick sweep for personnel, finding none he beckoned Ianto inside and sealed the door behind them.

Jack followed Ianto along the corridors which were painted completely white and ominously reminded Jack of the Pharm. Ianto skirted back and forth across the corridor to keep out of view of the cameras and Jack couldn't help but admire his behind in the tight, black jeans.

They continued through a winding series of hallways until Ianto located the correct room, signalled to Jack to wait outside and punched in the security code and slipped inside. Jack remained outside the door keeping an eye out for ant UNIT staff.

After a few minutes Ianto emerged carrying a cumbersome metal case. He smiled at Jack's enquiring look and packed it away in his backpack. They set off again back the way they had come, Jack was marvelling at how easy this had been and was even contemplating sending UNIT an anonymous email telling them to update their security when Ianto cursed behind him. In welsh. It was definitely bad.

He spun around Ianto had dug a PDA out of somewhere.

"Unexpected security sweep of the corridors Jack. There are four soldiers heading our way. Two from each direction. ETA about 45 seconds."

Jack cursed then grabbed Ianto's arm and dragged him through the door on their right.

It was a broom cupboard. A very small broom cupboard. _What kind of a High Tech Military facility had broom cupboards!?_

They held their breath as footsteps came closer and closer from both sides. The soldiers met directly outside their door.

"Alright Joe how's it going? Catch the match last night?"

Jack grinned at Ianto and gave him a lecherous look. _How about It; you, me, broom cupboard?_

Ianto frowned at him. _Not a chance in hell, my friend, I quite like being not dead._

Jack tweaked an eyebrow. _Come on_ w_here's your flair for the dramatic?_

Ianto rolled his eyes silently thinking that Jack was more than dramatic enough for both of them and tried to move his body back from Jack's. But Jack didn't back off. His smile widened and he leaned into Ianto pressing him up against some shelves and a mop.

Ianto's eyes darted to the door in a panicked manner then back to Jack who leaned into him, their lips almost touching and said "Relax." Then he kissed him.

Ianto's mind went on vacation for a while as he kissed Jack back and struggled to find a more comfortable position, preferably one where there were not cleaning products jabbing him in the spine. All he could hear was the frantic thudding of his own heart and the drone of the guards' conversation outside, footsteps.

Then cupboard door suddenly swung open.

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Ridley Flanagan had been having a perfectly normal, if quiet, night patrolling the corridors of an obscure UNIT storage facility. Which was why he was stunned when it all went to shit.

He'd been talking to Joe about the football and Andy had suggested that they have a little game themselves. George had protested that they didn't have a ball but Andy had just winked and pointed to the broom cupboard. "Always keep one handy lads, never sure when you're going to need it."

Ridley grinned and followed Andy over to the door. Andy pulled it open to reveal two men dressed entirely in black shoved against the shelves and currently in the process of trying disappear down each other's throats.

The guards and the men stared at each other for 5 still, silent seconds as time stood still- everyone stunned into inactivity. Then the Andy made to bring his gun up. The man who was pressed into the shelves lunged forward and there was a high pitched #ZAP # and Andy slumped to the floor.

The rest of the soldiers had recovered by now and raised their guns. One of the men leapt at Joe and swept his gun to the side, punching him squarely in the nose and causing him to crumple immediately to the ground unconscious.

Ridley rapidly came to the decision that this was a shoot to kill situation, they were probably terrorists. Anyway as Colonel Mathers would say _shoot first apologise to the widow later._

He brought his gun up and as the man turned he put a bullet right between his eyes.

The last thing Ridley saw before joining him in death was the younger man's face, a mask of still fury, splattered with his partner's blood. The younger man calmly raised his gun and Ridley didn't even have time to register the shot before everything went dark.

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Jack came back to life with a gasp, violently drawing tortured breaths into his dead, empty lungs. He sat up clutching at air and looking frantically around.

There were three bodies on the ground, two he knew to be unconscious but from the amount of blood pooling around him, the third appeared to be dead. _Three down that means one left..Ianto!_

Ianto was currently grappling with the final guard, their guns forgotten on the ground. Jack winced as the other man swung Ianto around, into the wall. His head collided sharply with it, a resounding crack echoed through the corridor and Ianto's knees buckled.

Jack struggled to his feet as the man let Ianto slide down the wall leaving a trail of bright red blood smeared in his wake, then straddled him on the floor to prevent him from getting up. The man looked around unaware of Jack's tottering presence behind him and grabbed a gun from the floor.

Jack pulled the stun gun out of his jacket and swiftly moved up behind the soldier. He grabbed the man's arm twisting the gun away from Ianto and stunning him in the back simultaneously. He shoved the unconscious man to the floor and bent down to Ianto.

He was still awake but it looked like he was fighting hard to remain coherent.

"Ianto are you alright?" He asked urgently already moving to help Ianto off the ground.

"Aren't you assupposed a be dead?" Ianto slurred frowning at him; he struggled to his feet and leaned heavily on Jack.

"How many fingers Ianto?" Jack asked holding his hand out with three fingers up.

Ianto swayed as he concentrated on Jack's hand. "Deuddeg" He declared with upmost confidence.

Jack's heart clenched with worry; "I have no idea what you just said but seeing as it wasn't even the right language, we can safely assume you have a concussion. Right lets go." Hefting Ianto's arm over his shoulder Jack moved off as quickly as possible. This was going to be difficult.

Their progress was slow and Jack could tell that Ianto was trying desperately to remain conscious. They were no longer trying so hard to avoid the CCTV, just enough to stop their faces being recognised. "Speed over stealth." Jack muttered to Ianto as they moved along as quickly as possible with Ianto's wobbly legs.

They managed to get back through the door and across the compound before the alarms started. "Shit!" Jack swore then turned to Ianto. "Sorry about this Ianto." With that he picked Ianto up and swung him over his shoulder ignoring his indignant cries of protest and ran for the perimeter fence.

As he drew near Jack reached into his pocket and getting out a sonic blaster the team had scavenged last year, he blew a hole in the fence. He didn't stop running until he reached the SUV. Throwing Ianto into the passenger seat he jumped into the driver's seat and sped off into the darkness.

Jack didn't slow the car again until the sirens and alarms were miles behind them. Once they were out of immediate danger he shot a glance at Ianto. The younger man was deathly pale, the right side of his face was completely obscured by blood and he seemed to be sliding down the seat, his eyes half lidded.

"Ianto! Wake up! Ianto! Open your eyes!"

"Blin" was the sleepy response.

"I know you're tired. But you have to stay awake. Ianto can you ear me? IANTO!"

Ianto however seemed determined to go to sleep so Jack jerked the steering wheel violently causing Ianto to jolt in his seat and smack into the door.

Ianto's face scrunched up in annoyance and he opened his eyes to give Jack's right ear an unfocused glare; "Pa Beth!?"

"Did I ever tell you about the time I had sex with an alien with three tongues, not all of them were in her mouth either…"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Francene Jones was woken at 2am by the sound of Jack Harkness yelling for her daughter at the top of his lungs. His voice was urgent and she detected a note of panic. That was enough to get her out of bed. Jack Harkness didn't panic; flirt, threaten, charm yes-panic? No way.

She pulled on her dressing gown and ignored Clive's muttering. She met Martha at the top of the stairs and rushed down after her.

Jack was standing at the bottom of the stairs bodily supporting Ianto Jones who was as horizontal as he could get whilst still standing.

"Oh God Jack, What happened?" Martha exclaimed leading him into the dining room and clearing off the table.

"Got into a bit of fisticuffs didn't you Ianto? Can't stop him Martha, he's a troublemaker." Jack's voice was falsely bright. He helped Ianto up onto the table and supported his back so he'd stay sitting up whilst Martha was rooting around for her doctor's bag.

Fancene got a good look at the young man and she gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. He was almost unrecognisable from the polite man in the suit who had served them breakfast just that morning.

He seemed to be completely limp, Jack supporting his entire weight and his head lolling back onto Jack's shoulder. His face was completely colourless; there was blood all down the right hand side which stood out starkly against the pallor of his skin. His eyes were half lidded and kept slipping closed only for Jack to force them open again by prodding Ianto's cheek. He also seemed to be muttering to himself in a language that Francene couldn't decipher.

Martha came back into the room and picked up her penlight tipping Ianto's head up with a gentle hand under his chin and shining it into his eyes. He squeezed his eyes closed and tried to shy away from her but Jack held him firmly against his chest.

"Atal! Chwydu!"

"What?" Martha turned to Jack who looked as confused as she did.

"Chwydu Jack Chwydu!" Ianto's voice was more insistent and he tried lurching out of Jack's grasp but Jack held him immobile.

So all Ianto could do was twist slightly in Jack's grip and vomit all over Francene's Dining table. Jack held him as he retched and sobbed. By the time he was done Ianto was exhausted and shaking. "Edifar." Ianto whispered as he went completely limp in Jack's arms.

Jack laid him down gently and Francene went to get some pillows and a duvet out of the airing cupboard_. What was it with the Doctor _she silently raged _that whenever he was involved it was always innocent children who suffered?_

When she went back into the Dining room Martha was speaking to Jack as he gently washed the blood off Ianto's face. "-a concussion, pretty hefty one too. I'll give him a few stitches and with plenty of bed rest, no Jack not _that_ kind of bed rest! No strenuous activity of any kind! He'll be fine in a few days."

Jack thanked Francene and took the blanket and pillows from her carefully setting them around Ianto's head to protect it if he moved in his sleep.

"What about the Welsh?"

"It's more than likely just a consequence of the concussion. It should be gone by morning."

"Pity. Gotta love those beautiful welsh vowels."

"So did you get it Jack?" Martha's voice was hopeful and her eyes were shining.

"Don't you trust us Martha Jones?" Jack asked in a mock hurt tone then gave her a beaming smile.

Martha gave an excited squeal and ran around to give him a hug. When they parted she went to Ianto and started to prepare for stitching his head wound. Jack moved to Ianto's side to watch her. Francene saw his hand discreetly sneak up and take Ianto's limp hand, lacing their fingers together.

She gave a small smile. _Jack Harkness trying to be subtle. Well I never._

"I'll put some tea on." She said as she moved from the room. She was extremely happy for Jack, a year in hell together had made them close and Francene was glad that he was, at the very least, content. During the time with the Master she'd seen him die many times and come back in agony looking lost and alone. Even when he'd been smiling and laughing, trying to keep her or Tish's spirits up his eyes had always been empty. Dead.

But when he looked at Ianto Jones, Jack's eyes were so very alive.

* * *

Man, is Ianto going to have a headache in the morning.

The welsh is more than likely totally wrong, but it's the thought that counts right?, I got it off an internet translator here's what the stuff is _supposed_ to mean;

Deuddeg- Twelve  
Blin-Tired  
Pa Beth?- What?  
Atal!- Stop!  
Chwydu- Vomit  
Edifar- Sorry

Thanks for reading and reviewing, it is greatly appreciated.

Please review and criticise anything that seems wrong.

Cheersies! :D


	10. Chapter 10

Fandom: Torchwood/Dr. Who

Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto also starring Gwen, Rhys, Martha, Donna, Rose, Mickey, Jackie, Pete, Martha's family and mentions of the Doctor.

Disclaimer:I don't own Torchwood or Who all belongs to RTD and the BBC

Warnings: Spoilers for all Torchwood and Who so far S1&2 Torchwood and s1-4 Who

Author's Note: Sorry if the characters are off. If they are please tell me and I'll fix them. Especially if Ianto and Jack start to get pathetic. I hate when Ianto gets written like a pathetic whinge.

ABOUT LAST CHAPT: There was some confusion on why Ianto & Jack broke into UNIT, really I should have made it clearer-my mistake, but UNIT were pissed at them for not telling about the Risen Mitten and wouldn't give them the device and the diplomatic channels didn't overturn their decision.  
Also in regards them killing a guy to get the device to help the Doctor and the Doctor not being so down with the killing I have 3 reasons; 1. What the Doctor don't know ain't gonna hurt him, 2. Torchwood are definitely a means justifies the end organisation and 3. It was Ianto who shot him, not Jack, Ianto doesn't know the Doctor and the guy _was_ after shooting Jack in a pretty cold hearted manner, I know I'd probably be pissed enough to shoot him in the head too.  
Also this story is written from a Torchwood POV not a Dr Who one, which also accounts somewhat for the appalling Rose undercharacterization, because the actual series finale will be very Who oriented with much Rose and little Torchwood so I figured I'd make the most of it.

Anywho Back to Cardiff!!

* * *

Donna Noble was feeling incredibly insulted.

She had walked into the Jones' house this morning at 7am and had been immediately and rather forcibly pulled aside by Captain Flash and Dr High and Mighty who said they wanted a 'quick word'.

Donna had then been sheparded unceremoniously into the living room where Jackie Tyler sat looking just as disgruntled as she felt.

"What the hell's goin' on?" Jackie demanded. "This isn't another intervention is it?"

Jack glanced at Martha and gave a grin; "I suppose it is an intervention of sorts."

"Just one minute G.I. Joe-" Donna started.

"Just sit down Donna I'll explain everything." Martha said reasonably so Donna did. "Ianto got hurt last night, quite a serious concussion…no he'll be fine" She added when it looked like they'd interrupt. "The thing is.." She looked nervously at jack.

Jack folded his arms and turned to face them head on. "The thing is ladies, your combined voices could skin a Norlark at 100 paces, so until further notice you are both to keep your voices down to a manageable level. Or just don't speak at all; I think that might be a better solution."

Donna puffed with indignant rage and was just about to explode when Jackie beat her to it. "How DARE you! Who do you think you are? How DARE you talk to us like that!"

"Yeah, just because the tea boy cant look after himself don't think you can swan about telling us what to do." The two women shared a look and silently agreed to be as shrill as possible. They stood and stalked out of the room slamming the door after them.

Their decision was revoked the minute they laid eyes on Ianto.

They walked into the kitchen and he turned form the counter to greet them. "Good Morning Ladies, can I get you some coffee?"

Donna stared at him with her mouth slightly ajar and nodded. He was almost unrecognisable, he was wearing a black suit with a white shirt and red tie but somehow it seemed to swamp him. He seemed smaller somehow. More fragile.

His eyes were dull and tired with prominent black circles around them and his face was much too pale except for the right hand side which was darkened in a deep purple bruise stretching from his cheekbone up into his hairline. As he turned to get the coffee she could see a large ridge of stitches receding from above his eyebrow into his hair.

He was moving differently too she noticed. Before Ianto had had the grace of a cat and the bearing of a Victorian butler but now his shoulders were slumped and as he walked over to get more cups he had the counter in a white knuckled grip to try and maintain equilibrium.

Donna glanced at Jackie who seemed just as shocked as she was and a new silent alliance to mother the young man instead of irritating him was signed, sealed and delivered.

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Whilst Ianto was grateful for the vow of silence that Jackie and Donna seemed to have taken, he was becoming increasingly annoyed by their attempts to mother him. Bringing him biscuits and fussing over his tie and talking to him in baby voices. It didn't help his dignity that Jack kept laughing at him.

So he was enormously relived when Jack announced that it was time for them to return to Cardiff. It raised a lot of indignant noise about needing them to work the teleportation device until Jack calmly explained that they needed the rift to harness the device's power.

This raised a lot of indignant noise about being left behind. So for the sake of a quiet life and Ianto's sore head Jack had agreed to let Donna, Rose and Martha come with them but flat out refused to bring anyone else using a variety of excuses from "We're supposed to be a _secret_ organisation." To "Don't have any room in the SUV."

Now he was sitting in the front seat of the SUV (Jackie had insisted on fastening his seatbelt) doped up on extra strength painkillers Martha had given him feeling very woozy and sleepy and waiting for the girls to finish saying their goodbyes.

Jack was sitting beside him with an arm on his neck rubbing soothing circles in a way that was going to make him fall asleep, if he didn't stop.

"Jack." He muttered accusingly.

"What?" Jack feigned innocence.

"Stop trying to make me sleep, I'm working."

Jack cocked an eyebrow. "Working? I don't think so Mr Jones you are officially on sick leave. When we get back its straight home to bed for you."

"Cant go on sick leave."

"Why not? And don't say because you're not sick because there's a rather impressive bloodstain on that seat that would suggest otherwise."

Ianto blinked a few times to clear the cotton wool out of his head. "Don't have enough staff to go on sick leave. Don't argue with me Jack. I'm not going home." He yawned

"I'm not going to sleep; at least not until this whole business is sorted, and I am most definitely NOT an invalid so stop treating me as if I'm a simpleton."

He yawned again and Jack grinned. "I'm a grown man and I can make my own decisions. Why are you grinning like an imbecile…Yawn….You've drugged me haven't you?"

"Who me?" Ianto glared at him. "It's just a mild sedative, should tide you over until we get to Cardiff."

Ianto was falling asleep very reluctantly "I hate you Jack Harkness."

"Love you too sweetie." Jack replied in a cutesy voice "Now you sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite." Ianto's face relaxed into sleep and Jack placed a gentle kiss to his forehead.

The back door opened and the girls bundled enthusiastically into the back seat, waving at their gathered families.

"So Ladies, I don't know if Ianto mentioned it but today is 'Naked Wednesday' at Torchwood Cardiff."

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The journey passed pleasantly enough with the girls becoming fast friends over stories about the Doctor.

Throughout the afternoon they had progressed from playing I Spy, which Jack was banned from for making up alien gases that only he could see because they weren't 'evolved' enough to a kind of 'Never have I ever' except without alcohol. Which Jack secretly thought went completely against the purpose of the game but he played anyway if only for the revelations it ceded.

Currently it was Donna's turn, she seemed to be getting louder and louder with each passing round despite the fact that the orange juice they were using to play had no alcohol content. She screwed up her face in thought, then inspiration struck and she beamed; "Never have I ever kissed the Doctor!"

Jack sighed and took a drink of his juice rather surprised that in the mirror he saw Rose and Martha do the same. There was a stunned silence, then:

"No WAY!"

"When?"

"How?"

"What was it like?"

"Rose?" Jack asked incredulously over the noise. "When did this happen?"

Rose looked embarrassed; "Well I was technically possessed by a giant piece of skin at the time. But it was still a kiss!" She added defensively when Martha snickered.

"Alright then Dr Jones, when did you kiss him?" Jack asked watching in the mirror was Martha's face dropped slightly.

"Well technically it was more of a matter transfer to distract some space rhinos, but it was still a kiss!" She admitted guiltily and Jack laughed outright, barely giving the road any attention.

"So let me get this straight the times both of you kissed him, one of you was possessed and the other time was as a decoy. Ladies, you definitely need some work on your technique."

"Alright then Jack when did you kiss him?" Martha demanded obviously put out.

"Learn from the master Dr Jones, it was a last kiss for a dying man. No one ever refuses a last kiss for a dying man. Which is really quite handy when you die as often as I do."

"I CANNOT believe you lot!" Donna exclaimed disgustedly "Have none of you noticed that he's an ALIEN!"

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Ianto woke as the SUV jerked to a stop beside the water tower. He looked around blearily until his eyes focussed on Jack. Ianto glowered at him. Jack tried to smile innocently back.

"Sedatives?"

"You needed to sleep; it was affecting your job performance, as your boss it was my responsibility to make sure you rested."

"By drugging me?" Ianto kept his voice calm and conversational.

"Yes." Jack was starting to look a bit nervous.

Suddenly Ianto smiled. "Very well sir, would like to take our guests in by the lift I can deal with the SUV and supplies."

Jack looked uneasy at his change in demeanour but frowned at his suggestion. "Not a chance, you can't drive yet!"

"Very well." Ianto agreed suspiciously easily. "If Dr Jones would drive, I will supervise her and you can still show Ms Tyler and Ms Noble the 'Tourist's Entrance'. Does that sound agreeable to you sir?"

Jack thought that Ianto was taking this drugging far too easily and silently resolved to watch his coffee for a while, poison wouldn't kill him indefinitely but it still _hurt._

"Alright, I suppose." Jack got out of the driver's seat and opened the door for the girls then handed Martha the keys. "We'll see you inside."

Martha got in beside Ianto and closed the door, she turned to him. "You're taking Jack sedating you very well."

"That's what he's thinking too." Ianto replied with a smirk as she started the SUV. "Then he'll worry why, he'll expect me to pull something and he'll obsess over every little thing I do for a week. He'll drive himself crazy; I won't have to lift a finger."

Martha laughed as she followed Ianto's pointed directions. "Ianto Jones you're a wicked man."

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The first Gwen knew of Jack's return was the sound of the invisible lift descending into the Hub. She had been in the kitchen having a terrible cup of instant coffee with Rhys when she heard the mechanism and reached for her gun. Her first thought was that they'd been breached- Ianto would have rung if he and Jack were on their way back.

But as she'd had no word from either of them she ran into the main Hub, ignoring Rhys' protests, with her pistol aimed at the lift and was rather annoyed when the lift did not contain some warmongering alien but Captain Jack Harkness looking very smug with an attractive woman on either arm.

Gwen lowered her weapon and smiled moving quickly to the lift with Rhys behind her. As she got closer she noticed that the two women had death-grips on Jack's arms. The blonde woman was laughing joyfully and the red head despite her rather colourful cursing was smiling broadly.

"Jack!" Gwen cried as the lift docked and ran to him jumping into his arms and giggling as he spun her around and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"I must go away more often if this is the greeting I get." Jack stepped off the lift and extended a hand to Rhys. "How are you Rhys? Thanks for keeping an eye on the place for us. Did you have any problems?"

"No hassle mate, everything was quiet." Rhys shook Jack's hand and they started talking about something but Gwen wasn't that interested in so she stared at the new arrivals.

"Jack.." She interrupted quietly looking significantly at the two women when he turned to her questioningly.

"Where are my manners? Gwen, this is Rose Tyler and Donna Noble, companions of the Doctor. Rose, Donna this is Gwen Cooper Torchwood employee and her husband Rhys Williams."

They all shook hands politely and there was a slightly awkward silence that Rhys broke by saying; "So where's Ianto then? Not left him in London have you? Only I could murder a decent cup of coffee." Jack laughed but was saved from answering by the alarms announcing that the Hub door was opening.

Martha and Ianto walked in and Gwen gave a little squeal and tore over to them before they'd taken two steps in the door. She threw herself at Ianto first hugging him fiercely and whispering "Don't ever go away again." In his ear as he gave Jack a bemused look over her shoulder.

Gwen hugged Martha and the two of them chattered as Ianto made his way over to the group and shook Rhys' hand as Jack had. Ianto had just started towards the Pteradactyl nest when Jack shouted over at him.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To check on Myfanway" Ianto didn't slow his pace.

"Oh no you're not." Jack ran over to him and grabbed his arm. "Not a chance in hell you're climbing that ladder. Call her down; I'm sure the girls would like to meet her."

Ianto grinned at him and went to stand in the middle of the Hub. The other joined him; Gwen gave him a concerned look and spotted the ridge of stitches receding into his hair.

"Ianto! What happened?" she reached out to touch him and he flinched away.

He gave her an apologetic smile. "Just a bang on the head Gwen. I'm _fine_." He stressed the last word and Gwen reasoned that he was probably tired of people fussing over him. Ianto never could stand any fuss. She wisely let the matter drop.

Ianto put two fingers into his mouth and whistled shrilly wincing slightly as the sound echoed around the Hub. There was an almighty screech from above them and Ianto and Gwen grinned. Myfanway launched herself out of the nest and swooped towards then pulling out of her dive at the last minute.

Donna and Rose screamed and grabbed hold of Jack trying to duck behind him and Jack laughed at them. Rhys wasn't faring much better he'd yelled and jumped behind Gwen gripping her shoulder. Ianto stepped forward a few steps and whistled again.

The pterodactyl dived towards them again and landed surprisingly gracefully in front of Ianto. He stepped forward ignoring the protests of Rhys and the girls, reaching into his jacket he pulled out a bar of chocolate.

Myfanway made a low keening noise and butted her head gently on his chest. Rhys and the girls watched in amazement as Ianto whispered to the dinosaur and stroked her head as he gave her the chocolate which she accepted with unexpected tenderness. She was snapping and croaking happily as Ianto ran his hand up and down her beak, then suddenly she reared up and took flight swooping through the Hub and screeching her happiness.

"Right girls." Jack said breaking the astounded silence. "Lets get you a hotel sorted shall we?"

"Already done Jack." Ianto said not turning around "Three rooms for one night at our usual place." He gave a wry smile. "I figured they'd have alternative arrangements after tomorrow."

"Ianto Jones you're a marvel. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"It has been known to happen."

Jack turned to the girls and offered his arms; "Shall we ladies?"

The last thing they heard as the Hub door rolled closed was Donna shouting;

"You have a pet dinosaur!"

Ianto gave Gwen a brief smile and turned to go make sure his archives were still standing when Gwen put a hand on his arm. He really hoped this wasn't going to be another conversation about him and Jack. He faced her expectantly.

"Ianto. Would you and Jack like to join me and Rhys for dinner tonight?"

Ianto was surprised by the invitation and was about to refuse, his head was banging and both him and Jack were knackered, when Rhys spoke;

"Aye mate, we'd love to have you's, I'm making my famous Spagetthi Bolognase."

Ianto looked from his earnest face to Gwen's noting her slightly flushed complexion and how brightly her eyes were shining_. It must have been so hard for her here on her own without me and Jack so soon after what happened to Owen and Tosh._

"Cant pass up an offer like that can I?"

Rhys' face broke into a huge grin. "Great we'll see you at 8 then?"

"Sounds great." With that Rhys and Gwen went to leave the hub. As they were going through the door Gwen turned back; "Ianto love take care of that headache, I've some of Owen's Industrial strength painkillers in my desk, take a few."

Thank God for Gwen. She didn't annoy him with showy, suffocating mothering like Jackie had, she actually cared and helped him in a way she knew would put him at ease. Ianto felt a sudden rush of affection towards her- _I love her, I love Gwen, despite her prying and stubbornness, I love her_.

Besides Gwen, Rhys and Jack were the closest thing he had left to family anymore. Might as well make the best of it.

* * *

Yeah so that was a pretty rubbish, unexciting chapter.

NEXT CHAPT: A Torchwood Dinnerparty.

It doesn't deserve a review.

Cheersies! :D


	11. Chapter 11

Fandom: Torchwood/Dr. Who

Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto also starring Gwen, Rhys, Martha, Donna, Rose, Mickey, Jackie, Pete, Martha's family and mentions of the Doctor.

Disclaimer:I don't own Torchwood or Who all belongs to RTD and the BBC

Warnings: Spoilers for all Torchwood and Who so far S1&2 Torchwood and s1-4 Who

Some vodka induced craziness and adult talk!

Author's Note: Sorry if the characters are off. If they are please tell me and I'll fix them. Especially if Ianto and Jack start to get pathetic. I hate when Ianto gets written like a pathetic whinge.

JUST A NOTE: I know people want Janto goodness and I'd love to give it to ya's, I love some Janto action as much as the next squeeing fangirl but I can't physically write it. I just can't. I'm too rubbish and I get all embarressed and blush bright red when I even try. So, sorry.

Also had my first exam and it went really well it was a 2 hour paper and I was done in 20 mins so I'm guessing that writing fanfiction does wonders for your academic prowess.

These last 2 chapters were the hardest to write and god I was nearly reduced to tears as they were stubbornly refusing to NOT BE SHIT. Oh well, I did all I could.

The Dinner Party!! GRIN :D

* * *

Jack Harkness was a little peeved at his spur-of-the-moment dinner plans.

He had been looking forward to a quiet night in after the excitement of the last couple of days. He'd swanned into the Hub proper after dropping the girls at the hotel to find Ianto putting his coat on and heading for the door.

"Where are you going? I was thinking a shower, some brandy and then bed. Care to join me?"

"For which part?" Had been Ianto's cautious response.

Jack grinned lustfully "All of it."

Ianto shook his head ruefully and Jack noticed for the first time that Ianto was carrying his coat as well. He extended it to him and said; "As much as I'd love to Captain, we have dinner plans."

Jack frowned but let Ianto help him into his coat. "With who?"

"Gwen and Rhys. No Jack we're going, you didn't see the look on her face. This is important to Gwen and after everything Torchwood's done to their relationship I think the least we owe them is a meal." Ianto faced Jack stubbornly.

"But your head-"

"Is perfectly fine, I've taken some of Owen's industrial strength painkillers. You're not using me as an excuse to get out of this one Harkness." He added with a grin.

Jack sighed dramatically and looked very put upon. "Very well Mr Jones, lead on."

Ianto rolled his eyes at the courtly bow Jack favoured him with and moved to the lift. "By the way Jack we're taking my car, I intend on arriving there in one piece and the way you drive the SUV, it's not likely to happen."

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It is a truth universally acknowledged that when any number of females gather in one place after dark, in their pyjamas, in the presence of chocolate they turn into giggling, hormonal teenage girls.

Companions of the Doctor were not immune to this phenomenon.

Which was why, half an hour after Jack had dropped them at the hotel, all 3 companions were in Rose's room devouring tubs of Cookie Dough ice cream and making good progress on the mini-bar.

"Alright." Martha said interrupting the hysterics of the other two as she wiped streaming tears from her eyes. "I've got one. The Doctor, Jack and Ianto; Marry, Shag, Throw off a cliff? Rose?"

Rose thought about it for a moment her face comically serious then answered; "I'd marry the Doctor, I'd shag Captain Jack-you have to..have you heard his stories! And I suppose I'd have to cliff Ianto."

Donna was open mouthed in shock. "Cliff Ianto- have you tasted his coffee? My God if he makes coffee that orgasmic just imagine…" Her eyes glazed over for a moment. She ignored the other's sniggers as she continued. "So I'd marry Ianto, shag Jack and cliff the Doctor."

The other two rounded on her looking horrified. "You'd cliff the Doctor?" Rose asked looking betrayed and outraged; the alcohol was making her a bit touchy. "After all he's done for this planet? After all he's done for us?"

"He's an _ALIEN!_" Donna exclaimed exasperated. "I don't see how none of you have noticed this! I am not going to marry or shag an alien when there are two perfectly good, handsome _human_ men on offer! Anyway, he'd probably just regenerate or something wouldn't he?"

"I suppose." Martha said doubtfully. "I'd marry Ianto, you're right about the coffee Donna. I'd shag the Doctor-don't think I could stand being married to him and I'd have to cliff Jack because he'd come back to life- then I'd shag him!" The three women burst into fits of vodka induced giggles that were only intensified when Rose tumbled backwards off the bed.

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At 7.58 Jack was standing outside Gwen's flat with Ianto beside him holding a bottle of wine. He fidgeted with his collar nervously and shifted his weight from foot to foot only stopping when Ianto fixed him with a level stare.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Jack replied quickly. Too quickly because Ianto's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Jack sighed; "It's just so _domestic_."

Ianto's face broke into the biggest grin Jack had seen in days and for a moment he felt his discomfort was worth it just to make Ianto smile like that. "The fearless Captain Jack Harkness has finally met his match; dinner, wine and small talk with the Williams."

Jack was saved from answering when Gwen opened the door and greeted them with a huge smile; inviting them in and leading them up the stairs. When they got up she took their coats and the wine with an "Oh Ianto, thank you that was very thoughtful."

Rhys was in the kitchen putting the finishing touches to his masterpiece as Gwen sat them down at the table. They'd obviously made an effort because there were candles on the table as well as an embroidered tablecloth and good china plates.

Jack served dinner with a flourish and bowed extravagantly when Ianto complemented him on his truly unparalleled spaghetti bolognaise. "I aim to please." He said and Gwen giggled and punched him playfully as they took their seats.

The meal was delicious and they passed the time with polite conversation that revolved mostly around Jack's ridiculous stories about aliens that Ianto wasn't sure he believed most of the time.

"So Ianto, how'd you get that nasty bump on your head then?" Rhys asked curiously wincing and gesturing at Ianto's head.

Ianto took a sip of his water and smirked slightly. "Hate to tell you Rhys but _somebody_ was supposed to be watching my back but failed rather miserably."

"Wait one second." Jack protested indignantly. "I was dead how was I supposed to watch anything!"

"My point exactly Jack if you hadn't been _otherwise engaged_ you would have been watching my back and it never would have happened."

"If you had been watching _my_ back then I never would have gotten shot!"

"I think you'll find you were shot between the eyes Jack" Ianto said in an eternally patient tone. "That would logically imply that you were shot in the front not the back. So logically no matter how much I was watching your back it wouldn't have made a difference as you were technically shot in the front. So I think you'll find that if anyone was remiss in their duties, it was you." Ianto smirked triumphantly and toasted Jack with his glass.

"Do you have any idea how sexy you are when you use logic?" Jack asked huskily.

Rhys laughed incredulously. "Are they always like this?" he asked Gwen.

"Pretty much." Gwen replied fondly watching as the two men had a silent battle of wills which was probably going to end up in a repeat of the hothouse incident if she didn't intervene.

"So did you get the blood cleared up because otherwise UNIT could trace us back to the break-in?" Jack turned sharply and looked horror-struck, the thought obviously hadn't occurred to him- Ianto normally dealt with those little details.

He turned to Ianto who was calmly taking another sip of water. "Calm down Jack, it's taken care of."

"How?" Jack asked sceptically, Ianto had been unconscious or with him since the incident so he couldn't see how he'd found time to do anything about it.

"When you were away with the Doctor Torchwood had to participate in a few more _questionable_ dealings to keep up with the rift. Don't give me that look Jack, you left us we did what we had to in order to protect this city." Ianto glared at him then his face softened into a more amused expression.

"Owen and I decided that if we were ever to accidentally leave any DNA at some of the more high-tech facilities it wouldn't take long for them to track us down and quite frankly we couldn't afford the distraction that would present. So we manufactured 5 strands of completely synthetic DNA and replaced our recorded samples with the new fake strands." He looked up from his glass and saw Jack, Rhys and Gwen staring at him in dumbfounded shock.

Ianto frowned. "Gwen why are you looking so shocked? You signed off on this. I left a report on your desk and you said you read it."

Gwen blushed. "Well there was a lot of paperwork Ianto. I assumed you knew what you were doing."

"That's brilliant Ianto! This means that if I accidentally father a child they can never pin me down!" Jack crowed triumphantly and they all laughed at him.

The rest of the meal passed comfortably and Jack was starting to think they should do this more often. Rhys was a nice, decent bloke and Gwen and Ianto deserved all the happiness they could get after everything that had happened. He was just about to suggest making this a weekly occurrence when Rhys arrived back in with the dessert and Gwen turned to face Jack and Ianto with a very serious expression on her face.

"Jack, Ianto we have something to tell you." She reached over and took Rhys' hand. Jack looked between them-Gwen looked a little bit tense but happy and Rhys was positively beaming whilst still remaining a slightly defensive air. Jack glanced at Ianto but his face was impassive.

"We're going to have a baby!"

There was deadly silence in which no one moved, Gwen was looking at him worriedly and Rhys looked like he was starting to get annoyed. Jack glanced at Ianto's still impassive expression and realised they were waiting for him to react.

"That's BRILLIANT!" He exploded with characteristic excess. "Absolutely brilliant!" Jack leapt across the table and enveloped Gwen in a bear hug; out of the corner of his eye he could see Ianto shaking hands enthusiastically with Rhys.

Jack pulled back from Gwen and he saw she was crying tears of pure joy, no wonder her moods had been so dynamic the last few months. "I couldn't be happier for you Gwen." She beamed and he pulled her into another hug.

Jack only let go of her when Ianto tapped him on the shoulder and coughed politely. He went to congratulate Rhys as Ianto kissed Gwen on the cheek and gave her a hug. "Congratulations Rhys, it's the least you deserve. This is fantastic news." Rhys smiled and puffed his chest out proudly.

Ianto excused himself quietly and went out to the hall to get his coat. Gwen shot Jack a quizzical look that he returned with a shrug. When Ianto returned he was carrying an envelope which he handed to Gwen with a happy smile. "Congratulations Gwen."

Gwen frowned curiously at the envelope and beckoned Rhys over so they could open it together, inside was a congratulations card. "You Knew!?" Gwen asked gobsmacked. "I suspected." Ianto corrected with a gentle smile. "Open it."

Gwen opened the card and gasped. Inside was a check for more money than she'd ever seen in her life. "Ianto we can't accept this it's-"

Ianto held up a hand to stop her. "Look Gwen, Torchwood has very few happy moments in its history. This is one of them and I'll be damned if we're not going to mark it with a sickening display of extravagance. Besides I found a little _wiggle room_ in the accounts. Just don't expect any biscuits with you're coffee for a while."

"Thanks so much mate." Rhys said sincerely, shaking his hand. "It means a lot."

Jack took his coat from Ianto and turned to Gwen "I don't want to see you in tomorrow, spend the day with Rhys and celebrate. But just so you know you're out of the field until that little bundle of joy pops out." He grinned at her outraged expression.

"But Jack-"

"No buts Gwen, Rhys thank you for having us it's been a wonderful evening we should do it again some time. Oh and if you want to come in and give us a hand at the Hub sometimes it'd be greatly appreciated." Jack shook Rhys' hand and gave Gwen a kiss on the cheek and then left before she could argue.

They were in the car before Jack spoke to Ianto; "Why didn't you tell me Ianto?" Ianto shrugged; "Wasn't my business to tell you Jack- just because you're an insufferable gossip it doesn't mean the rest of the world is too."

They sat in silence for a few minutes. "We're going to have to get replacements aren't we Jack?" Ianto asked quietly and Jack felt his heart tug at how lost and tired he sounded.

"Not replacements Ianto." Jack faced him "We'll never replace them. But yeah we'll definitely need more help in the field now Gwen's pregnant."

They sat staring out the window screen into the dark street for a few more minutes before Jack physically shook himself out of his internal musings. "So your place or mine?"

"Mine definitely, not a chance I'm going down your hole tonight." Ianto said with a smirk. "I've got a headache."

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NEXT CHAPTER IS THE LAST ONE!!

Thanks for all the reviews.

please review

Cheersies :D


	12. Chapter 12

Fandom: Torchwood/Dr. Who

Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto also starring Gwen, Rhys, Martha, Donna, Rose, Mickey, Jackie, Pete, Martha's family and mentions of the Doctor.

Disclaimer:I don't own Torchwood or Who all belongs to RTD and the BBC

Warnings: Spoilers for all Torchwood and Who so far S1&2 Torchwood and s1-4 Who

Jack and Ianto snarking mostly and some bad language.

Author's Note: Sorry if the characters are off. If they are please tell me and I'll fix them. Especially if Ianto and Jack start to get pathetic. I hate when Ianto gets written like a pathetic whinge.

And so it comes to an end...

Decided just to post these last 2 chapters together. Not enough happens in them to keep them apart...anyway, you may have noticed by now that I don't have a modicum of self control so as soon as I write something I NEED to post it. :D

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Ianto Jones was marvelling at the utter insanity of his life.

He was currently standing in Torchwood's main centre of operations which was being run by a man from the future who'd lived through the past. Not only that but he was accompanied by three of the institute's greatest enemy's associates and he was treating them like friends.

Sometimes when Ianto thought about his life he found it to be ever so slightly fucked up.

They had found that operating the device was going to be simple enough, all it involved was making it compatible with the rift manipulator, calibrating it to the TARDIS' wavelength using Jack's TARDIS key and 'letting rip' as Jack had so eloquently put it. The TARDIS and Doctor should arrive on the perception filter within an hour.

Ianto was currently trying to wire the device into the rift manipulator whilst Jack hovered around him with a nervous energy that was putting his teeth on edge. It didn't help that the Doctor's other companions were just as overexcited; Rose was practically bouncing on the spot, Martha couldn't stop grinning like an idiot and Donna was becoming increasingly high pitched which was not helping his dissipating headache.

Ianto abruptly stood and Jack bounded over to him. "Are you done is it ready?"

"Yes Jack it should be ready, I'm not exactly sure how this is supposed to work but I think it's all wired in correctly." Ianto replied.

"I'm sure it'll be fine." Jack said reassuringly, and then turned to the girls. "Er..Ladies perhaps you should stand back a bit. We aren't entirely sure how much of a kick this thing is going to have."

The girls backed off to the other side of the hub and Ianto glared at Jack. "That's not exactly reassuring Jack."

"Don't worry Ianto, you're with the Captain." Jack gave him a small squeeze before bending down and turning the machine on.

The machine emitted a high pitched whine and began to shake violently on the spot. The rift manipulator began to glow and produce a series of piercing beeps that sounded worryingly like a count down.

"Jack.." Ianto sounded unsure.

"Run"

The two of them turned and ran from the device just as it emitted a final squeal and a blue light burst from it like a shock wave sending them flying into the air before receding and being channelled up the water tower and into the rift.

Ianto hit the ground hard on his back, Jack landed on him a second later crushing the breath from his lungs. When Ianto opened his eyes he was lying in the water at the centre of the Hub with jack lying on top of him face to face.

"Hi there." Jack said smoothly "Remind you of anything? Our first date perhaps?" His voice went wistful "We went pterodactyl hunting."

"I think you'll find." Ianto said as he wrapped his arms around Jack and rolled over forcefully until he was on top. "That it was a little more like this, sir."

"So it was." Jack said with a laugh and went to kiss him. Ianto pulled back and shot a rather pointed look in the direction of the three women who were rushing over to see if they were alright.

Jack groaned as Ianto climbed quickly off him and went to find them some dry clothes. Rose ran over to him and smiled down at him. "Alright there Captain?" Jack smiled up at her; "Never happier than when I'm on my back Ms Tyler."

She shook her head and laughed exasperatedly at him, offering a hand and pulling him to his feet.

"Did it work Jack?" Rose's face was full of hope and excitement and trepidation and love. "Is he coming back?"

"Yes Rose it worked. He's coming back. He's coming back." Jack pulled her into a hug, spinning her around, as she laughed breathlessly.

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10 minutes later Jack and Ianto were in clean clothes and sitting in the conference room with the three girls waiting for them to stop chattering about all the planets and aliens and new worlds they were going to go to see together. And shoes.

Jack was mystified by the fact that in between discussions on aliens and wars and the Doctor the one conversation they always came back to was on the relative merits of shoes. Which shoes were best for running, which were the easiest to get slime out of, which withstood time travel fashion the best.

Ianto threw him a desolate look and Jack whistled loudly to get their attention. They stopped talking and looked at him affronted. "Thank you, now if you're quite done ladies Ianto has a present for you."

Ianto smiled and stood passing a thick brown envelope to both Donna and Rose. Martha was empty handed and looked at him reproachfully; "What about me?"

"Jack was taking care of your present Martha." Ianto answered smoothly and Martha turned her gaze on Jack who glowered at Ianto before digging in his pockets and pulling out a 50p piece.

"There you are Martha." Jack said charmingly. She looked at the coin then back at Jack then at the coin again. "This is 50p"

"No no no no no. well, yes." Said Jack shaking his head emphatically. "It's still better than their presents." he protested gesturing at Donna and Rose who indeed seemed less than impressed with their gifts which appeared to be a sheaf of papers.

"What the hell kind of a present is this?" Donna asked Ianto.

Ianto smiled benignly at her "The Official Secrets Act." He looked at their incredulous faces. "What? You didn't actually expect to just leave without signing it? We're a Secret Organisation defending the British Empire from aliens, I had to sign this at my first interview."

"I'm not signing anything suit boy!" Donna shouted at him.

"Fine. It's entirely your choice." Ianto said and he took a small bag of pills out of his pocket and took one out placing it in front of Donna and filling her a glass of water. "If you'd be so kind as to take the pill Ms Noble."

"Are you trying to poison me?"

"Don't be so dramatic." Jack said his face solemn. "It's an Amnesia pill. It'll make you forget the last three days- you won't remember me or Ianto or Torchwood."

"What about my family? Did they have to sign this?" Rose demanded.

Ianto let out a wry laugh and Rose looked at him. "Sorry Rose but do you honestly think that we could let Jackie Tyler loose with any information on Torchwood: It'd be all over London within the week. I retconned them before we left. Don't worry Rose I'm very good at what I do, they'll only forget any meetings that they had with myself or Jack and anything they heard pertaining to Torchwood. Your parents and Mickey currently think they spent a wonderful few days visiting with Martha's parents and that you've gone with the Doctor and that nothing untoward happened whatsoever."

"You can't do that Jack you can't just take peoples memories." Rose protested looking at him like he was a stranger. "You've lost two years of your life; I thought you'd be a bit more understanding."

"Listen Rose, if anything to do with Torchwood gets out me and Gwen and Ianto will all be in danger; we'll become targets. I won't risk that. Either you sign a document promising to keep your mouth shut or we remove all trace of Torchwood from your memory. You have a choice."

Rose sat down slowly and looked from Ianto's stony face to Jack's pleading one. She signed the document and slid it across the table. The fight seemed to have gone out of Donna because she signed hers as well.

"What about Martha? Doesn't she have to sign?" Rose asked.

Martha shook her head; "Signed mine when I took the job at UNIT." She said with a smile. "Come on guys it's not like you're signing away your soul, it's just a promise to keep quiet about it. It's not like you're shouting the existence of aliens from the rooftops is it?"

That seemed to settle the girl's nerves and the mood in the room lightened dramatically.

"So Ianto," Rose said to the young man as he was putting the pills away. "Any chance of a cup of your amazing coffee before we go?"

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When Ianto returned with the coffee he passed them around before walking over to give Jack his; Jack held his gaze and let their fingers touch for a moment longer than was entirely proper.

"Ianto!" Donna's voice erupted from the other side of the room. He jumped slightly and spun around to face her.

"Ms Noble. What can I do for you?" Ianto smiled at her and she gave him a slightly nervous smile before taking a deep breath.

"So next time i'm back on earth, do ya wanna go for a drink or summat? I mean it could be alot of fun as long as it doesn't involve runnin' around after aliens or you don't try and slip any of those memory tictacs into my drink." She said all this very fast and Ianto tried to get his brain to catch up with her mouth.

"Well...em." Ianto stuttered feeling himself turn red and couldn't help but notice that Jack was in hysterics behind him and Martha was about to rupture a couplle of blood vessels if her face was anything to go by. Rose just looked mildly curious.

"I'd love to Ms Noble, Donna, it's just that I'm kind of seeing someone right now." Donna's face fell and she rounded on Martha "You might have said instead of encouraging me. Bleedin' idiot."

Ianto could hear Jack snickering away behind him "Although he's frankly being a bit of a shit at the moment so call me when you get back, who knows I might have dumped his sorry ass by then."

"Hey!" Came Jack's indignant cry. "In what ways exactly have I been a shit."

"You can't help it Jack, it's the foundation of your personality. Don't think I can't here you laughing away at my expense."

Jack stood and walked over to him putting his hands on Ianto's shoulders spinning him around to face him. "I'm not laughing at _you,_ I was just thinking about that time when we brought back that Secresian lasergun and it actually turned out to be a karaoke machine."

"Indeed."

"Yep." Jack gave a little pout and Ianto snorted at him and shook his arms off.

"That could be construed as harassment you know sir." He straightened his jacket and flicked a piece of invisible fluff off his sleeve.

It was Jack's turn to snort; "It's only harassment if you don't like it and this morning it didn't seem like you had any complaints-"

There was an outraged squeal from the other side of the room and they turned to see Donna and Rose giving them completely incredulous looks and Martha with her hands over her ears yelling "Too much information!"

"So you two." Donna said slowly

"yep."

"You and Captain America?"

"So it would seem. So much for maintaining some professional distance Jack."

"Jack Harkness in a monogamous relationship." Rose sounded skeptical but she was smiling.

"On his side-"

"Ianto!"

"Bloody hell. What is wrong with me? Either they're working as henchmen for evil spider ladies or they're havin' it off with charming, enigmatic, handsome, time travelling captains in dashing coats." Donna looked distraught and Rose gave her a hug.

"See Ianto, Donna thinks I'm dashing." Jack said with a smug smile.

"I think you'll find she said your coat was dashing Jack. And I have to agree. I really like that coat."

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Jack watched Ianto and Martha exchange goodbyes beside the lift; she gave him a kiss on the cheek before hopping on. Ianto waved at the other two girls as the lift started to ascend and they waved vigorously back yelling their byes to Jack as well.

When the lift reached the surface Ianto walked up to where he was standing at Toshs' old work station and Jack gave him a small smile. Ianto looked at him seriously and didn't smile back.

"You can go with them."

"What!?"

"You can go with them Jack, with the Doctor. You spent so long looking for him, if you have a chance to be with him you should." Jack searched Ianto's face but could see nothing but earnest honesty there.

"I cant just leave you-"

"Listen Jack." Ianto said forcefully, Jack snapped his moth shut. "I walked into this relationship with my eyes wide open. I don't need or expect anything from you that you aren't willing to give. I love you and I know you love me but we aren't _in love_ with each other. I'm still half in love with Lisa and you're still in love with your Doctor."

Jack made to interrupt him. "Don't lie to me Jack. I'm a grown man not a pathetic, little child in constant need of reassurance and validation. I've had the time of my life with you and if you left now I wouldn't regret a moment of it. It might hurt but I'd treasure the memories and I would _never_ regret it."

Ianto maintained total eye contact throughout his speech his eyes burning with a passion and truth that half scared Jack to death.

Jack reached out and grasped Ianto's hands in his own. "I'm not going anywhere Ianto."

Ianto looked down at his shoes and frowned; "Jack.." He was trying to keep his tone reasonable.

"No now it's my turn to talk." He smiled slightly to take the sting off his sharp words. "I'm not going anywhere. I had my chance to travel with the Doctor; he asked me and I said no. At this moment I belong here and now. With you and Gwen and Torchwood. I have all of eternity to find the Doctor again, I think I can spare another 50 or so years in 21st century Cardiff." He smiled broadly.

Ianto glanced up at him and gave him a small, relieved smile. "Well it's not like I'd miss you or anything. Might actually get some work done without the constant harassment."

Jack growled at him, then laughed and turned to the CCTV monitors as the low grinding of the TARDIS reverberated through the Hub. The spaceship materialised on the Plass and the girls went running for it.

The Doctor stepped out the door just as they reached him and he was enveloped by a massive group hug that sent the four of them tumbling to the ground.

"I feel sorry for him." Ianto said gesturing at the screen.

"Why?" Jack asked confused.

"Well you said the TARDIS has a huge big wardrobe."

"Yeah it's probably bigger than all the sub-levels of this place, why?"

"Can you imagine dragging those three out of it long enough to do anything near productive."

Jack laughed at that and watched as on the screen the four little people turned to wave manically at the camera before piling into the TARDIS.

"Come along Mr Jones." He said grabbing Ianto's arm and pulling him towards his office.

"What are you doing?"

"You."

_"Excuse me?"_

"No way Ianto, when we were outside UNIT you said that as soon as we were more opportunely situated we could have some sex and I fully intend on enforcing that promise."

"I don't remember saying any such thing Jack." Ianto replied as Jack shoved him against the now locked door to his office, in case Gwen came nosing again.

"Selective amnesia- due to the concussion. You also said that you'd do that thing with you tongue that-"

"Did I indeed?"

"Yep. You were quite explicit." Jack said placing a hand on either side of his head and leaning in close.

"Well then, can't very well go back on my word now can I?" Ianto murmured getting a bit hot and bothered from the way Jack was currently nibbling on his earlobe.

"Nope that wouldn't be very polite at all Ianto." Jack whispered into his ear as he started undoing Ianto's waistcoat buttons.

"Very well then sir, if it's a matter of honour." Ianto grinned at Jack and shrugged himself out of his suit jacket.

"Good man, I knew you'd come round to my way of thinking in the end."

"Always Captain, always."

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FINITO!

I know you guys might have wanted the Doctor but 1. I can't write him and 2. If Jack went up to see him he'd probably just end up going with him.

My next story is already planned it's gonna be set when tosh and owen were alive and involves Torchwood attending a Ball- where chaos inevitably ensues!

But while that's in the pipeline (shameless plug) I've also written a story called A Torchwood Gig inwhich everyones favourite teaboy is revealed to be something of a rock n roll star!

I've had much fun writing this which is due in no small part to the wonderful reviews so thank you all very much guys, as a first time fanfic writer, I really appreciate it.

Cheersies,  
Katie :D


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